Page 19 of Cruel Love

“Dani, talk to me.”

I halt in my tracks and laugh. It comes so suddenly from the depths of my gut. “Talk to you?” I ask. “Talk to you? Talk to me.”

He squints. “What do you mean?”

“You were gone for five years, Fox,” I say. “For five years, you were out there, but you won’t tell me what happened to you.”

“You don’t want to know that.”

“I’m standing here — right in front of you — telling you that I do. You think I don’t notice that you barely sleep? That you jerk awake, covered in sweat? What is it that keeps you up all night, Fox?”

“You don’t want to know,” he repeats. “The things I’ve done. The people I’ve hurt. You’ll look at me differently and I don’t want that.”

“I’ve seen you kill. I’ve seen what you can do. What difference will a few more stories make?”

“All of it.” His voice falls. “You have to trust me on this.”

I look at the floor, trying hard to keep the tears down. “You’re not here, Fox,” I whisper. “Three months you’ve lied next to me but you’re not here. Even when we make love, there’s a part of you that’s missing. You’re holding back.”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not some collectible, Fox. You don’t have to keep me in mint condition.”

His eyes drop to my still-healing shoulder. “I didn’t say you were.”

I shake my head. His tone is rock solid. Steady and firm. Short, vague responses. “You’re going no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

Fox exhales. “Yes.”

“Then, leave,” I say, forcing my lips to stop trembling. “If that’s what you want, then go.”

“That’s not what I want. I don’t want to go with them.”

“Then, why are you going?”

He steps closer and his hand rises to his face. “You see this scar?” he asks, tracing the white line along his cheek. “Elijah’s the one who patched me up. He was like me, Dani. He got dragged into Snake Eyes. He didn’t want that life. When I escaped, I thought that there must be others in the organization just like us.”

“The same Elijah who dosed Caleb?”

“To get to me.”

“And what makes you think they aren’t still trying to kill you, Fox?” I ask. “You could be walking into a trap.”

“It’s possible.”

I throw up my hands. “How can you be so calm about this?!”

“Because this is what I’m good at.” He looks down. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”

I pause. “Fox, that’s not true.”

“I exposed Snake Eyes and I hoped that people like me and Elijah would find their way out, but I was naïve to think that it’d all be over once I did. Dante’s right. We can’t really move on until the Boss is gone for good. She’ll keep coming after me and she’ll do that through you just like Mercer did.”

I feel a pain deep in my shoulder. A soft twinge in my cheek. We’re both covered with wounds and scars from Snake Eyes. Him more than me.

I walk over and lay my hand on his cheek. The raised scar feels stiff against my fingers. He told me that he got that during his first mission in Snake Eyes. His target made him. He was forced to fight back.

I push his jacket over his shoulders. He stands still, letting me do it until it tumbles to the floor. His brow furrows with confusion as I move his shirt collar over and expose the scar along the side of his neck.

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