Page 37 of Cruel Love

“Never knew you were so paternal.”

“Me neither.” He shakes his head once. “But something in me just… turned on last night when I saw you standing there with that test. I never really thought about being a dad. Now, it’s all I want.”

I extend my hand and he latches onto it with a tight grip. “We’re gonna have a baby,” I say.

He nods. “And… are you okay with that?”

A tear falls down my cheek. “I’m getting there, yeah.”

Boxcar pulls me closer and embraces me, holding back from squeezing me too hard. Before, that would have bothered me. Pregnant or not, I’m not breakable. But I find myself sinking deeper into his safe and comforting arms.

I rub my wet eyes against his shirt sleeve. “Don’t do anything stupid,” I say. “Please.”

He laughs. “I won’t.”

“I need you.”

“Not as much as I need you.” He cups my face and looks me in the eye. “I’ll be behind a computer screen the whole time. No bullets are gonna be flying at me. All right?”

I nod. “I know. But still... be careful.”

“I love you.” He drops to his knees and talks to my stomach. “And I love you, too!”

“Oh, god...” He kisses my belly. “You’re not gonna be one of those dads, are you?”

He hops back up. “Damn right, I am.”

I roll my eyes. “Ugh.”

“Every baby book says they can hear you,” he says.

“It probably hasn’t developed ears yet,” I point out. “And what baby books have you even read?”

“A few.”

“When?”

“Last night.”

I raise a brow. “You did not read a few baby books last night.”

He zips up his backpack. “I loaded up your Kindle with some good ones. We need to start preparing yesterday.”

“No, you didn’t.”

I pause, eying my Kindle on the bedside table.

He slips the pack over his shoulder and grabs his messenger bag off the counter. “I’ll call you when we get to Boston.” He points a stiff finger. “No drugs, no alcohol, no sushi. There’s mercury in fish. Very bad for baby.”

My mouth drops. “Wait, I can’t eat sushi?”

“Or processed cheese.”

“You’re kidding.”

He chuckles. “Nope.”

“How is that fair?”

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