Page 87 of Broken Love

Caleb

Then

‘Til death do us part.

What the hell was I thinking?

I stare out the hotel window from a large armchair, scanning the bright horizon. It’s nothing but colorful lights for miles but I know come morning the Las Vegas Strip will lose most of its magic. The glitter and gold Botsford Plaza won’t dazzle nearly as much. Nothing ever looks as enchanting during the day than it does at night.

My husband stirs in the bed, drawing my eyes away from the dancing lights outside.

My husband.

Never has a word frightened me as much as that one.

He doesn’t wake up. He just slides around beneath the covers for a moment before settling onto his side, lightly gripping the pillow under his head.

Husband. Wife. They never meant anything to me before. Just titles people threw around because partner sounds so dull and boring. Husband and wife carry a far heavier weight to them, like life or death.

Death. Best-case scenario, he lives long enough to watch me die. Or I live long enough to watch him die. The former is far more likely. In a perfect world, that’s the only way a marriage ends.

He’s already been through enough of that. I’ve already seen my fair share of it. To imagine spending my life with someone only to have them torn away from me as if they never existed. This is what people strive for? This is what poets and novelist spend their days spewing out over and over again like it’s some goddamn beautiful achievement?

Boxcar turns onto his other side and his arm stretches out, searching for a warm body that isn’t there. It breaks my heart. I could easily walk over there right now, slide back into the bed, and he’ll feel me. He’ll pull me closer and he’ll smile in his sleep and everything will go on the way it should be. But that won’t always be the case.

Someday, be it next year or next week or even tomorrow, he’ll reach out and I won’t be there. He’ll awaken, sit up, and realize that I’ll never slide back into his bed ever again. I’ll be gone from this world, but he’ll still be here, cursed to forever wake up alone as if I never existed at all. Just another casualty in life’s war. It happened to my father. It happened to Fox and Rhys and the rest of our unit.

And it’ll happen to me as soon as my bullet catches up.

That’s not fair. Boxcar doesn’t deserve that.

“Caleb?”

I look over at him. He’s propped up on one elbow, staring over at me in the dark with that adorable, boyish smirk.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, reading me like a damn book.

The city lights pull me back one more time. The sky bleeds a lighter shade of blue. Dawn must be breaking. I wonder if Fox saw the sunrise one last time before he died. I hope he did.

“Caleb?”

Boxcar stands over me now, shirtless in slacks, with heavy eyes full of love and longing for me and only me. Three blissful, never-ending days in a bed together and he still looks at me like he’s never seen me before.

But someday…

Chapter 25

Boxcar

Well, that was unexpected.

Who am I kidding? This is Caleb Fawn. This wasn’t unexpected at all. It was downright inevitable. I’m not sure why I thought exchanging vows would somehow mean she was ready for commitment. It’s more surprising that it lasted a whole three days before she booted me out of our hotel room.

But we’re married now, so I’m gone but not out. If she needs some time to vent and think, then I’ll give her that time. I don’t mind doing that but, eventually, she’ll open her door to me, and things will go back to normal until her next attack of conscience. Hopefully, if I’m lucky, these bursts of frustration will happen less and less until they disappear completely. I’ll keep my patience until then.

She’s worth it.

For now, I’ll hang out in this hotel room a floor down from hers and wait it out. She’ll come down here, knock on the door, and she’ll smile. I’ll kiss her, she’ll kiss me back, and I’ll carry her to the bed for a bit of tender punishment. If there’s one person I know better than myself in this world, it’s Caleb Fawn.

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