Page 79 of Broken Love

I’ve never been able to sleep the night before a big change.

People tell you that’s when you need the most rest, but it’s never worked out that way for me. The night before basic training. The night before the first day of school. Even the night before a big family vacation is restless and wild. My mind just won’t quit churning out thoughts and images to the point where I give up completely and stare at the ceiling until dawn and hope for the best.

Tonight is no exception. Tomorrow morning, I’m going home. It’s a big change. Life is one way today, but it’ll be something else tomorrow. The only difference now is that the man sleeping in the cot across from mine risked his life to save mine a few hours ago. I may never get the chance to thank him for it. I may never even have the courage to do it.

My heart hasn’t stopped pounding since he kissed me. I believe him completely when he says he’d save me again but I’m not sure if I should be thankful or angry. Maybe both.

Live in the moment, Fox told me. I could think about this for hours, repeating and dissecting every single syllable I’d mutter at Boxcar in response to his actions but none of it will be as real or satisfying as doing what I really want to do right now.

I sit up and glance around the tent. It’s been silent for hours, lumps of sleeping bodies completely still in the dark as a light sandstorm rattles the tent around us. My eyes fall on Fox for a moment and I give a quick smile to the best friendship I’ve ever had in my life before looking forward at Boxcar.

I tiptoe over to his cot. The pitch blackness makes it hard to navigate but my senses hone in on his silent breath.

He instantly stirs as I sit down beside him, flashing open his eyes with a quick boost of adrenaline.

“Shh,” I tell him, laying my finger across his mouth.

Boxcar says nothing but I don’t need him to. I pull his blanket down and slowly ease my way inside of it to lie beside him, constantly glancing around for sleepless eyes. Luckily, no one moves as I replace the blanket over us. I see Boxcar’s eyes in the darkness, full of confusion and excitement. He waits, holding back as if it’s all just a cruel trick.

I slide my finger over his mouth. His lips purse against my fingertips before I lean forward and kiss him as quietly as possible.

Boxcar’s hand rises to my face. His trembling fingers burrow into the hair behind my head. I feel his heart pounding like mine, scared of getting caught but not willing to stop either. He embraces me and his hardness grows against my thigh. My senses burst for him, but I can’t let myself give in completely. Not here. Not without suffering the consequences.

But I know I’ll never sleep unless I feel him one last time.

Our lips dance. Silent but wild. His tongue passes over my lips and I quiver at his taste. I touch down his body and he inhales a sharp breath as my hand slides into his pants. He rests his forehead against mine while I stroke him, fighting every urge he has to vocalize his pleasure and expose the moment to the world.

Boxcar eases me onto my back. His hands travel south, gliding over my breasts and navel. I gasp as his hand touches my panties and he lays his other hand against my cheek to remind me to keep quiet. Even in the dark, I can sense that playfulness in him and he takes great pleasure in teasing me.

He crushes his lips against mine as he caresses my clit. I dig my nails into his skin, but it does nothing to dissuade him. My throat tightens, wanting so badly to moan. I hold it closed, even as his mouth falls to my neck and teases the sensitive skin beneath my ear. My resolve sways as pleasure builds with each quick rub he gives me.

Just when I think I’ll burst, Boxcar slides his hand out and grips my pants with both hands. He pauses, fighting the urge to take me, and silently asks me with his fearless eyes.

My mind tells me to say no. Stop this before it goes too far. But my body won’t abide that. I kiss him softly, fighting to breathe in the hot, desert heat, and reach down to slide his pants down below his ass. He kisses me back with open eyes and they scan the quiet barracks as we push my pants to my ankles.

I open my knees to him. Boxcar settles between them, moving so slowly it drives me crazy. He pins me to his cot. I feel his hard girth sliding between my folds. I bite my lip as he exhales against my neck, fighting his passion while thrusting inside of me. My mouth opens, silently begging to be fucked the way his eyes tell me he wants to fuck me.

The cot creaks beneath us. We freeze with our lips gently caressing. I look around, begging for just one more moment of this bliss.

Thankfully, no one stirs. Boxcar’s lips curl against mine and he kisses me to keep me quiet as he tests the waters, sliding his hard cock out only to pump me once. My heart thumps wildly. I clench my closed jaw. I hold him against me while his slow, steady thrusts drive both of us insane.

Harder, faster. I want so much more of him, but I can’t have it. Pleasure aches in my sex, slowly building inside. I keep still, fighting the urge to meet every buck of his hips. He shifts into a grind along my pelvis and my clit throbs, surging waves of sweet thrills throughout my body.

A squeak escapes my throat. Boxcar lays his hand over my mouth, but he doesn’t stop. He stares into my eyes while his cock owns me from head to toe. His finger slips between my lips. I taste his skin, biting softly against his knuckle instead of moaning. Boxcar takes the pain with a smile and lays more soft kisses on me while masterfully grinding his hips.

Climax takes hold of me and a soft chuckle teases him. His hand presses harder against my mouth. He wraps his other arm around me and stops thrusting as fire shoots through me. My entire body screams in ecstasy. I know I’d barely be able to control myself if it weren’t for Boxcar holding me together.

Finally, the wave falls. I lay my hand on his, sliding it slowly away from my mouth to signal my control. He kisses me again, firm and true.

Then, his hips move, and I sigh softly, feeling his stiff grind inside of me again. He buries his face in my shoulder, focusing on his own pleasures. I let him take me as he wants. Still silent, still slow, but just as passionate as ever. He swells inside of me and I wince at the threat of his teeth etching a line in my skin as his body goes tense with orgasm.

Boxcar pulls out of me and his tip splashes along my navel, warm and wet. He balances above me on quivering arms with playful eyes, returning each of my kisses as we both hold back the laughter in our throats.

We lie together until my pulse returns to normal and my toes don’t feel as numb. Boxcar calmly pulls the shirt off his back and blindly wipes his semen off my belly. I smile a thank you and he smirks as he tosses the dirty shirt to the floor. I feel in the dark for my pants and slip them back on while Boxcar pulls his up.

He reaches out before I stand and draws me in for one last kiss full of passion and warmth. I let it happen, feeling just as much ache for him as he does for me.

My skin grows cold the second his touch leaves me. Not even the desert heat keeps me from shivering as I lie back down on my own cot and pull the blanket over me. I look out across the tent, sensing Boxcar’s deep green eyes on me in the dark. Happiness grows inside of me. The kind I’ve never felt before in my life. I think for a moment, wondering if anything in the world can bring this down.

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