Page 140 of The Devil's Fire

“It’s not. You can still get it fixed.” She urged.

“There is nothing to fix.” I hissed, feeling anger taking over. I placed my mug on the counter, afraid I might break it in my hands with how tight I was holding it.

“You can’t be happy with him. Don’t you realize many people would love to get to him through you? He’s a Don, for God’s sake! And you’re an easy target for all his enemies! Is that a life you want? Constantly fearing for your life?” My mother raised her voice again, anger showing on her face.

“What difference would it have made if you didn’t leave my father? I would have been an easy target, no matter what.” I pointed out, startling my mother when I brought it up.

“I left for a reason. To protect you.” She insisted.

“Was it really to protect me, mom? If it was to protect me, then why did you let me go there? Why did you let me stay there for so long when you knew what kind of people were involved? You knew I stayed at their place with Cara, so don’t give me that bullshit!” My voice rose with each sentence, almost making me shout the last part.

There were certain things we never talked about, and one thing was why she left my father in the first place. For some reason, it was something she didn’t want to talk about.

My mother stared at me with a cold expression. This was a whole different side I was witnessing from her. Never in my life have I ever seen her like this. That look on her face was something I have learned to recognize with the time I had spent with Damiano and his men.

“I have booked an appointment with the doctor for you once I come back. This ends then, prepare yourself.” Her voice was calm, but the look on her face was cold and dark.

I stared at her retreating form with wide eyes, refusing to believe what I just heard. I let out a shaky breath as I stood frozen in place. My heart was beating too fast. So much it was pounding in my ears.

The sound of the door closing and the car driving away made me snap out of it. I grabbed the coffee mug in anger and threw it to the floor, watching it break. But it did nothing to satisfy the fuming anger inside of me.

I grabbed anything I could get my hands on and smashed it on the floor. Dishes flew and crashed on the walls, watching them shatter into pieces. Drawers were pulled out and their contents spilled, creating a disastrous mess in the kitchen. I was panting as I continued to empty the cupboards, smashing and breaking everything.

But it still wasn’t enough to relieve the pain in my heart.

I grabbed my hair and screamed at the top of my lungs; anger, sadness, emptiness, pain. I let it all out.

I stumbled around on my feet as an intense wave of fear took over my body. My body shook. I couldn’t catch my breath, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Everything spun, and I looked frantically around to hold on to something. Instead, I crashed right onto the broken pieces on the floor.

I felt like I was dying.

I couldn’t breathe.

My ears were ringing. I couldn’t hear anything. My body continued to shake as I gasped for air. But nothing was filling my lungs. My vision blurred. The ringing in my ears intensified and my chest was rapidly heaving, desperate for air.

“I can’t breathe…I can’t…” I choked out.

Arms grabbed me and made me look up, but it felt like everything was in slow motion. I tried to focus, but I couldn’t make out who it was. I could faintly see lips moving, talking to me, but I couldn’t hear anything.

Breathe, Althaia.

Damiano’s voice rang out. I rapidly blinked and gasped, trying to take deep breaths while I focused on his voice. Slowly, my vision was getting clearer and the ringing in my ears suddenly disappeared.

“Deep breaths, Althaia.” Luca instructed with a frown on his face. I held onto him tightly as I tried to match my breathing with his.

“You’re okay. You’re safe.” He kept talking to me, reassuring me as he helped me calm down.

I was sitting on the couch as the paramedics measured my blood pressure. Giovanni had made the call when Luca tried to get me back to my senses. I had gotten cuts on my hands and knees from falling directly onto the glass and plates I had shattered all over the kitchen. Most of them were just surface cuts, but there were a couple of deeper cuts they cleaned and bandaged.

“Your blood pressure is high, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it right after a panic attack. Do you have those often?” The paramedic asked, and I shook my head at him.

“I haven’t had them before.”

“Do you know the cause of it, or did it just happen?”

“I was just…upset.” I said, while keeping my eyes down. My body was feeling weak and heavy as I sat there and continued to answer their questions like a robot.

“There’s nothing serious, but make sure you get enough restful sleep...” I nodded mindlessly as he continued to talk while packing his things.

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