“Did something happen to -”
“It’s best if I do the talking here.” She interrupted me. Her entire demeanor towards me was different from what it usually was, and it didn’t go unnoticed that she was talking to me in a harsh voice.
“I don’t know what your game is, but you begged Damiano to let you go because you needed to be alone, so he did. We put you in this house for you to stay safe and do whatever healing you needed to do, alone. But now, I find out that you invited another man over, and also went back to the house where you almost got killed without informing any of us. What if something happened to you, huh?” She snapped at me.
“Michael was with me, and he made sure everything was clear before we even went inside the house.” I said quickly, trying to let her know that I wasn’t being completely reckless about it.
“You see, that’s what I don’t understand. Why were you with another man?” Arianna tilted her head slightly to the side. I frowned at her accusing tone.
“It’s Michael. Someone I grew up with, someone who was close to my mother, not a stranger as you’re making it sound to be.” I crossed my arms, not liking how I had to explain myself with whom I was hanging out with.
“Wasn’t he the childhood friend you flirted with before Damiano? So, you’re telling me nothing is going on between the two of you? Because it sure did look like you were having a cute moment on the beach together - just friends, right?”
“Nothing is going on between us. He is just a friend.” I said through gritted teeth.
“Right. Does he feel the same?”
I glared at her, not saying anything, as she already knew the answer to her own question.
“Why are you here, Arianna?” I didn’t like the way she was toying around with me with her words.
“I came to see what was going on when I heard a man was visiting you. You’re lucky I’m the only one who knows about this because you know Damiano would kill him on the spot if he knew what had happened.”
“Nothing happened between us.” I clenched my jaw, as she kept going on about it.
“I don’t really understand you, Althaia. How is this fair to Damiano? You left him when he needed you the most.” Arianna said sharply.
“I didn’t leave him!” I snapped.
“Then what do you call this?” She gestured to the house.
“I just needed some time alone. None of you know what the hell I’m going through!” I exploded. She gave me a blank look in return.
“You’re right. I don’t know what you’re going through, but you’re not the only one who lost someone.” Arianna spoke calmly. “I know you’re suffering from a greater loss, and I’m so sorry. But did it ever occur to you how Damiano is feeling? He lost a baby, too, and every day I am watching him suffer. We’re all hurting, and it’s tearing us apart.”
My lip started to tremble, and my heart broke into a million pieces. Of course I was constantly thinking about him and his feelings, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to help him when all I felt was shame about it.
“You know what? Stay away from my brother. He doesn’t deserve this.” Arianna gave me one cold stare before she made her way out of the house.
I didn’t move from my spot in the living room, completely broken by everything she said. I fell to my knees when I couldn’t hold it in anymore and broke down.
The cold floor pressed against my trembling knees, the harsh reality of Arianna’s words echoing in my mind. Was this really it? Was it truly for the best that I stayed away from him?
All these thoughts made me sob out loud, hiding my face in my hands as I cried hard, feeling completely shattered that I had failed to be there for him.
The little progress I had made vanished, and I felt myself being sucked back into the deep, dark hole with no way out.
seventy-three
Althaia
Hours went by as I remained on the floor, lying on my back while staring emptily at the ceiling. It never occurred to me just how much I had fucked up by staying in the safe house.
He had always been there for me, taken care of me, and I just left him all by himself. I knew I should have been there for him. I wanted to be there for him, but I was afraid to look at him, terrified to witness him blaming me for everything. I ran away because I was scared that the longer I stayed around with a flat stomach, the more he would despise me for it.
Slowly, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom. I uncovered the mirror and looked at myself, seeing how red and puffy my eyes were.
What a fucking mess I have become.