Page 192 of The Doll and The Domination

She is a demon.

What trick is this?

Why do her words move my heart like a ship drifting without sails?

Sweat forms over my entire body, and everyone is watching me. Everyone is silent. I might start rapid cycling again if I don’t get this under control.

Get away from her, Sophia warns.

Do you want Kalidus to take over? Cricket asks.

“No!” I snap.

I do as Sophia orders, storming out of the commissary. Faces rush past me as I search the prison halls for a private spot. Why don’t I just kill the demon? I am an avenging alter. I should be able to do what I must to protect and avenge our system. What the fuck is stopping me?

Throwing myself into an empty cage, I scoot to a dark corner, putting my head between my knees and focusing on calming my breathing. But it isn’t working. Nothing is working. I’m dying. I’m suffocating.

“Take my hands.”

My head snaps up to see the demon’s horribly beautiful face watching me with tears in her eyes. Why is she crying? How does she keep faking these emotions around me?

“Do it. Now.”

I must have fully lost my mind. My hands reach for hers without a single thought of retaliation. Her hands are soft, small, swallowed up by my own.

“Squeeze until it goes away,” she whispers, nostalgia swimming in her gaze.

I squeeze her hands hard enough to seriously injure. Enough to make her wince. Enough to make her gasp.

“Harder. I deserve it.”

She does. She’s ruined our lives.

“I should have found you sooner. I should have saved you,” she sobs as I nearly break her bones, pinching her knuckles in my hands.

My jaw goes rigid. And as tears cloud over my eyes, my stomach sinks. Don’t show weakness in front of her! But I can’t stop them from distorting my vision. Something in me, deep and in the most foreign depths of my mind, recognizes the genuine emotions weakening her voice, breaking her heart.

What is wrong with me?!

“You are safe with me,” she says wetly, sniffling through her sobs.

I shake my head, forcing my eyes to go dry.

“Say it. Please.”

Don’t fall for it, Kalidus’s voice is distant as he tries to knock some sense into me.

I swallow. “I’m…safe with you.”

The words glow in my mind like shining beacons. They tug on a memory that feels invisible, thin, and delicate. A moment from another life entirely.

“Yes,” she says softly, “you are safe with me.”

My breathing evens out, slowing and regulating in rhythm. And with that, I pull my hands from her grasp, wiping my face as quickly as possible. Erasing the evidence of that breakdown.

I stand up, my shadow stretching over her crouched stance on the floor. Sad, pathetic, in a desperate puddle at my feet.

“Stay away from me.”

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