Page 161 of The Doll and The Domination

I try to sit up anyway, try to see my bare feet. Straining my neck and using my arms to push myself an inch upward despite the sickening ache in my bones, I stare down at…

At nothing.

No toes.

No ankles.

No bottom halves of my legs.

“No…” I utter.

“Ruth…”

“Where are m-my l-l-legs?” I ask in a quiet, trembling voice. “Did they—”

I look into Warrose’s swollen eyes. He’s weeping. Sad, thin tears trickle over his long, black lashes. His lips part, but nothing comes out. No words at all.

“Did they take my legs?”

The question sits in the stale air alone, heavy and sucking all the life and hope from this cage. I silently beg for the answer that will relax the muscles in my back. But I keep seeing that axe. That man swinging his arms back. The blood streaming from the open wounds under my kneecaps.

“Yes,” Warrose whispers with a grunt to clear his throat. “They’ve taken your legs.”

I’m unable to blink as I stare at him through thickening tears. I wait for him to take it back, wait for him to give me a sliver of good news. But his expression is as bleak and hopeless as I feel.

I think back to why this all happened, remembering pushing past the soldiers to volunteer to accept Dessin’s punishment. To save Warrose’s life.

Of course.

I deserved this.

I betrayed my friends.

But my thoughts have been scattered. Warped. Clouded over with memories I can’t attach to. All I feel is the love for my family and the confusion of why I betrayed them so heartlessly. I made one last silent request for Skylenna to sneak into the void and fact check my duplicity. Maybe it was baseless hope that I’m not the villain I believe myself to be. Maybe I was praying for a lifeline.

I just can’t wrap my head around how I’ve been able to lie, cheat, manipulate the people I love most in this world. I’d never hurt DaiSzek. I’d never lie to Skylenna.

But it’s true, isn’t it?

“I deserve this,” I whimper. The world grows cold and hateful. Black vines of bitter death snake around my vision. My pain levels skyrocket above anything manageable. This is what I deserve. “I betrayed my family! I deserve this!” I cry out with a burning throat.

“No,” Warrose attempts to say, but my cries drown everything else out.

“They’ve taken my legs! I’ll never run again!” I lie back down in a sobbing, hiccuping heap.

Niles and Warrose crowd me, holding my hands, trying to speak past my hysterics. But there’s nothing they can say to bring me back now. I’m spiraling down, down, down. I’m sinking into the abyss of my agony and depression. I should be dead. I should be buried under this prison.

“I’ll never—see the sun again!” I can’t breathe. The cry has manifested into something crazed and delirious. “I’ll never—walk again!”

Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe.

I deserve this.

Betrayed them.

Can’t breathe.

Warrose and Niles’s faces shift out of my sight, making way for a beautiful face surrounded by long honey-blonde hair. She looks down at me with wise, shining eyes. A gentle hand caresses my cheek, and she gazes into me as if she’s unburying the secrets of my soul.

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