Page 12 of The Doll and The Domination

Helga Bee winces. “Yeah, that’s shitty luck, isn’t it? I dunno. If anyone gives you a portion of their meals, they’ll get starved out, too.”

“Then what do we do?” Dessin steps forward, dragging me with him.

“Figure it out, Beetle Brain. I’m a six-meals-a-day kind of woman. Can’t afford to help you on this one.”

4. Alters

Dessin

I want to gut someone.

Watching Skylenna walk into her cage without a proper meal today punctured a hole in my chest. She tried not to rub her stomach. Hell, she even tried to cover the gurgling sound of her hunger with a pathetic little cough.

It’s my job to provide for this family. I don’t know when I elected myself to this position; the exact moment isn’t clear. I suppose it happened the moment I met Skylenna in that asylum. I watched her from the inner world, paid attention as she and Kane grew up, had fights, played in the rain, cried about Jack, swam in the lagoon. I knew her in a way, or at least I felt like I did.

But that moment when she walked into the thirteenth room, my eyes scaled the length of her smooth legs, and my heart beat like a war drum in my chest as she locked those beautiful emerald eyes on me.

I expected her to tremble. To avoid eye contact. I was fully aware of the reputation I had. Proud of it, actually. I worked damn hard to make each person fear my presence. Careful not to let them get too close so Demechnef wouldn’t target them for information. But my girl didn’t recoil. She reached out and shook my hand and didn’t shy away from my stare. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I mean, I remember her being a sweet, cute, little girl. I remember Kane’s childish dreams of marrying her one day. But my God, she was devastating.

It’s not in my nature as an avenging alter to bow to anyone’s needs but my system. To protect the other alters. To harm those who have hurt us. Therefore, it took me by complete surprise when, at that exact moment, I would do anything to protect her, do anything to make her happy.

Sure, I would have protected her for Kane. She was all he could think about. But I was fucked, because I was the alter that was supposed to carry out her insane plan with ease. I was the one who was not expected to let feelings for her get in the way. That’s one of the reasons Kane had to retreat to the inner world. He couldn’t bear lying to her, keeping her in the dark, even if she was the one who orchestrated the damn thing.

It makes this situation so much worse.

I have this rot growing in my core, this aching desire to escape this prison and keep us all safe.

This isn’t your fault, man, Kane whispers. But he isn’t fooling me. The heart-wrenching guilt is pouring from him to me in a slow, poisonous trickle.

I usually have time to work out an escape plan, I tell him angrily. But now, I feel like each moment that passes increases the odds of one of them dying. That blood is on my hands.

Kane sighs but doesn’t respond.

Losing us to death or fake death left an irreversible mark on her soul. I can’t let her lose anyone else she loves.

Kane hums his agreement. But he can’t stop the endless flow of remorse pouring off him. I’m suddenly shown a memory of him telling Skylenna he had a bad feeling about the warship. The mission. He wishes he would have tried harder to convince us to stay put.

Go rest in the Ambrose Oasis, I say to him with a layer of calm. I need a clear head if I’m going to pull off the best escape to date. Your guilt is going to eat me alive, brother.

Kane’s quiet for a long time, but I know he’s still lingering.

Tell her I love her, okay? I love her so much. The pain in his words is enough to paralyze me. I nod, and in a single moment, I’m drained of the heavy surplus of guilt and back to being pissed.

“Get out of your head.” A charming, delicate voice flutters through my cage. I turn my head to look at her, forehead pressed against the crooked black bars between us. “Pay attention to me.” Skylenna smiles sweetly, sending a rush of pleasure straight to my cock.

“My attention is always on you, baby.”

“Who were you with just now?” she asks quietly, a level just above a whisper, like she wants to keep details about what goes on in my head private. Between us.

“Kane.” I blow out a breath.

Her brow wrinkles. I resist the urge to rub my thumb across her worry lines.

“He wants me to tell you that he loves you.”

Her green eyes shine with tears as she smiles, looking away with a blush touching her cheeks. “And what about you?” she asks without meeting my eyes. “Do you love me?”

She knows the answer to this. I can see it as clear as the morning sky across her softened expression. Yet she still asks, wanting that affirmation. I wait until she glances over at me, then nod once.

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