Page 57 of Her Three Tech Bros

Where they’re from doesn’t matter. Moonshine’s known to make you regret even your past lives. I pop open the lid and grab three cherries. I put them in my mouth, but as soon as the taste settles in, I spit them out.

“What the actual fuck?” I gag as I wipe my mouth and rinse out the aftertaste.

That was disgusting. I hate everything and everyone right now, but I’m not putting that shit in my mouth again.

With a sigh, I settle for a bottle of imported vodka. It might not make me revisit past transgressions, but it’ll numb the pain of losing Jade.

I take a swig from the bottle, letting it burn my tongue and throat. The remnants of the cherries make the liquor scrape my throat even more. I suddenly feel lightheaded, meaning that it’s already working.

The harshness of the drink doesn’t faze me anymore. I just want it to settle in my body faster than normal. Maybe I’ll knock out earlier this time and sleep for longer. Anything to keep my thoughts away from her and even the other two fuckers.

“What was Ethan even thinking?”

Actually, what was I thinking, accepting that sort of arrangement? I should’ve listened to my gut and stopped everything before it got out of hand. Before Jade regretted being involved with any of us at all.

The look of hurt and disappointment on her face keeps popping up in my head. I never meant for her to make a face like that. We were the ones who approached her with this relationship, promising it would work out.

I just couldn’t keep the jealousy away. Even though we said no competition, there was a whisper in my head that tried to convince me that she prefers me. That I’m the best out of those two.

I run my fingers through my hair, noticing that I need to shower. But there’s no energy in my body to even move back to the comfortable couch. And if I go to my bedroom, the thoughts will become worse and worse.

The only thing left is to look out into space while I get more and more drunk.

I sigh and set the bottle down. “I don’t know why I’m even acting like this,” I mutter.

Getting drunk over a breakup is nothing new to me. It’s the level of misery I’m feeling. I’m trying to be prideful about it, but it’s fucking hard to pretend that she didn’t get under my skin.

I shake my head. “Under everyone’s skin.”

Despite that, I can’t bring myself to hate her or even be mad at her. I mean, who wouldn't fall for a woman like her? For her laugh, her carefree energy, and her confidence?

I look over at the phone that’s facing down on the rug. It hasn't made a noise since I threw it. I wonder if I should check it, just in case she sent me a message instead of calling me.

With that in mind, I reluctantly pick it up and see a notification. A spar of hope lights up in my chest, and I quickly unlock my phone. I’m quickly met with more disappointment. It’s from Ethan.

I breathe out sharply, once again throwing the phone. I still don’t want to face either of them. Whether it’s because of anger, shame, or regret, I still don’t know.

I throw myself on the rug, letting the cool air of my air conditioner hit my warm face. I stare up at the ceiling, watching the fan go in circles.

I’m torn into three parts, wondering what I should do – get over her and quickly move on to someone else, try to convince her to choose me over Ethan and Ryan, or just accept the arrangement and swallow my true feelings.

It’s useless, though. Each one of those choices will backfire. I won’t be able to forget Jade, nor will I easily accept her getting with another man. I’d lose my friendship with Ethan and Ryan, which would then make the company go to shit. And if I accept group dating, I think I’d lose a part of myself, my morals, and my dignity.

But I can’t just stay here and rot away in my feelings. And as much as I lie to myself, I still miss them. All of them.

“What the fuck do I do then?”

I get up from the floor, deciding to take a shower. Cold water will calm my head and thoughts. Maybe it will also alleviate the nasty headache brewing in the front of my head.

As I get ready to hop in the shower, I hear a knock at the door. Bothered and exasperated, I go to open it, ready to send away whoever it is.

“Coming,” I mumble, not bothering to raise my voice. The knocking gets louder. “I said I’m fucking coming!”

I swing the door open, ready to tear a new one to the uninvited guest. But my insults die down in my throat once I see who it is. Ethan and Ryan.

“What are you doing here?”

They walk inside as if they own the place. They look at the state of my apartment but don’t comment on it. They just look at me as if they understand.