Page 43 of Coming Undone

“There’s one more thing.” Alicia blew on the surface of the coffee, causing a light ripple. “Jack broke my heart when he first swooped in and purchased the bed and breakfast we own in Maine. He knew I wanted to do it on my own. I’d worked out a plan and I’d been saving for years. But sometimes men – especially guys like the ones we care about- are so focused on an outcome, they fail to see the emotional fallout.”

“Kind of like Danny wading right into my personal business even though I said I wanted to take care of it myself.” She could see the connection, even though she was starting to wonder if there was more to her strong reaction today than just a need for independence. “How did you move forward from that?”

“I remembered that there was no one else I’d rather be with in the world. Even if we don’t see eye to eye sometimes, I love him like crazy.” Alicia’s smiled and Stephanie could see her affection for her fiancé shine through her eyes.

“And that was enough?” Stephanie hated to sound like a cranky cynic. But her feelings for Danny were so new and untested. She wasn’t sure she could dive in headfirst with him and expect love to carry her through disagreements like this.

Disagreements that would only be worsened by time and distance apart.

“Well, that combined with the fact that Jack means well.” She frowned. “Does that sound lame? I just came to understand that he thinks so much different from me and that sometimes the things that frustrate me the most are the things he’s trying to do because he cares.”

Alicia’s cell phone buzzed along the granite, lighting up with a photo of her and Jack hugging in front of a sprawling seaside property. The bed and breakfast, no doubt.

Snagging it, Alicia put it in her pocket.

“That’s Jack.” Standing, she leaned forward to give Stephanie a hug. “I told him to call me when my brother arrived at the main house. He was supposed to drive in from Boston to take me out to lunch and deliver a wedding gift, so I’d better meet him. Do you want to come with us? It’d be better than packing.”

She looked so genuinely hopeful that Stephanie had to smile despite the heaviness in her heart. Apparently, she wasn’t just losing Danny. She stood to lose a truly wonderful, supportive family that could have been an uplifting counterpoint to the relationship she’d always had with her mom.

“Thank you, but no. Enjoy your visit with your brother and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.” As much as she would like to have Alicia’s sunny outlook and assurance that love could carry her through disagreements like this, she had too much old baggage to juggle. Maybe her captivity had made her more deeply wary of a relationship than she’d ever suspected.

With a clipped nod, Alicia was out the door, leaving the blueberry muffins behind. Leaving Stephanie to hope she could find Danny long enough to tell him goodbye without all the drama of their previous parting. She couldn’t just let things end on that note – with her tongue tied and him walking away.

Her little bit of packing almost done, she searched for her phone. She needed to talk to him before she called for the cab, after all. He deserved that even if the thought of facing him and saying another goodbye almost tore her in two. She’d barely survived the first one five years ago.

Besides, Alicia’s words had been an important reminder. No matter that Stephanie couldn’t relinquish control of her life to Danny’s certainty he knew best, she could at least admit that he’d only been looking out for her.

Digging the phone from her purse, she came across the notepad with the details from Danny’s homecoming on it. She’d taken those notes while talking to Danny’s mom. She’d scribbled the time and date of his ship’s arrival in Norfolk in peacock blue ink, her handwriting neat and deliberate as if she was taking the most important information of her life. The name of his ship was underlined and for some reason that hard line of ink reminded her how hopeful she’d been when she’d written it down.

She’d waited for this moment for over a year after deciding she really needed to see him again. But had she been waiting for the reunion far longer than that? Holding the petal-pink notepaper in her hand, she squeezed it tight. What if she was making a terrible mistake to put her need for sovereignty above love?

More importantly, what if she was just using that need as an excuse for a deeper fear of committing?

The scrawled heart inside the D in Danny’s name sure wasn’t the artwork of a woman prepared to give him up.

When the phone in her other hand rang, she nearly jumped, dropping the notepad back into her purse.

Danny.

Her heart did another flip, hopeful and fearful at the same time.

“Hello?”

“We need to talk.” His words were brusque, but this time, Stephanie tried to see beyond that.

He was hurting too.

“I know. I was just going to call you.” She paced the floor of the living room, walking in circles with nervous energy.

“Are you still at the gatehouse?”

“Yes.”

“Why don’t you meet me down by the dock? We can talk there.”

“Okay.” She slipped her toes into a pair of flip flops by the front door- the blue ones with the big flowers on the thong. Weren’t those the shoes of an optimist? A woman who could see the positive side of things? Oddly, they gave her courage. “Good idea. I think I need some fresh air and a fresh perspective.”

Already, she was out the screen door, letting it bang softly behind her.

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