Page 79 of Crossing the Line

I held back the tears until I left, but my entire walk home was wet with them. My stomach rumbles with hunger, but at the same time, I have no appetite. As I sit on the couch of the Airbnb, I don’t have much motivation for anything. The TV isn’t even on. I’m just sitting in silence with dried tears and my lingering, throbbing anger.

He called Sam?

My chest tightens as I picture the two of them still at the party together. How is it possible that I wasted years on Garret, but Aiden Lewis feels like my biggest mistake yet?

I have terrible taste in men.

Violet has texted me a few times asking how things went with Aiden earlier, but I can’t bring myself to answer her. I still haven’t opened Garret’s string of texts from earlier, but he’s the last person I want to give my energy to right now, so I leave them unread.

Tucking my legs to my chest, I lean my head on the tops of my knees and stare out the dark window. I can’t see anything outside, but my reflection in the glass looks pitiful. A wave of fresh tears burn my eyes, and I swipe my phone open to check the train running times for tomorrow.

Luckily, it looks like there’s a train going back to New York tomorrow morning, which is perfect because I haven’t extended my stay at the Airbnb yet. I had planned on doing that earlier today, but then Aiden and I got...distracted.

Blocking the memories from this afternoon, I purchase my ticket home and start to get the Airbnb ready for checkout.

? ? ?

The morning sun shines through the windows with a stunning golden glow, and I almost forget about the chaos of yesterday.

As soon as the memories hit me, I get out of bed and gather my things. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to. The long afternoon nap and my argument with Aiden made it impossible for me to get much sleep last night. Once I got back here all I did was cry, pack, and cry some more.

My sundress is the only thing clean, so even though I’m starting to hate the sight of it, I put it on and do my best to hide the fact that I was crying most of the night. My eyes are puffy, and there’s only so much mascara can do. Taking a long look at myself in the mirror, I finally resign, accepting that this is what I look like today.

Most of the packing and cleaning was taken care of last night. I needed something to distract myself from thinking about what Aiden and Sam would end up doing together. Considering I was up most of the night, this place might be cleaner now than it was before I started staying here.

My eyes do one last sweep to make sure I’ve gotten everything I need before locking up and walking out into the town of St. Pete.

I love it here.

As much as I hate what happened yesterday, it won’t tarnish my view of this cute town. I hope one day I can come back here and make better memories. Part of me wonders if I should stay longer and try to make better memories now, but I’m too raw from everything that’s happened. One day I’ll come back here with a fresh mind and a full heart.

Settling down at the beachfront diner, I order a breakfast that I would usually never be able to finish and a coffee. Having not eaten anything since yesterday afternoon, my stomach feels empty, and the fact that my heart has taken so many blows, leaves the rest of me feeling just as hollow.

“Is someone meeting you?” The server asks with a friendly smile. He’s blonde, tan, and has perfectly white teeth. Actually, he reminds me a little of Chad.

“No,” I answer with a polite smile. “It’s just me this morning.”

“I like a girl who can eat.” He winks before walking away to put in my order.

If yesterday had ended differently, I’d probably be getting breakfast with Aiden instead of sitting here alone.

He probably would have spent the night.

And I probably would have woken up to that incredible smile.

Feeling safe.

And cared for.

And seen.

But it all would have been a lie.

My chest tightens when I realize Sam is the one waking up next to him instead, but I try not to let myself feel down about it for too long. Like Garret, Aiden just isn’t the person I thought he was. I don’t want anything to do with the Aiden I saw last night. He was cruel in a way I didn’t know possible.

I guess, no matter how much you think you know the facts, there’s always that chance that none of it is real.

There’s always that chance that it’s fiction.

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