Page 53 of Before This Ends (Before)

I don’t know how long we stay in that position; it could be minutes, or it could be hours, but eventually, my heart rate returns to normal, and so does my breathing.

And that is about the moment the realization of what just happened washes over me like a bucket of cold water.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I silently pray for the ability to teleport. I can’t believe I just let him give me an orgasm on his kitchen counter—not only on our first date, but at thebeginningof our first date. What was I thinking?

Right, I wasn’t thinking. I was lost in the moment, my only thought was of getting off. Or more to the point,himgetting me off.

“She’s back,” he whispers, leaning away and leaving me no choice but to take my face out of the safety of his throat. “Well—” His hand curls around the side of my neck, his thumb putting pressure on my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I see my plan backfired.”

“What?”

“You’re back to looking ready to bolt. What’s that about?”

“I don’t, and nothing.”

“Em.” He sighs.

I rub my lips together, then admit, “This is our first date… or was supposed to be.”

“Yeah?” He frowns.

“You just…. We just….” Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I can’t even say the words out loud. “On your kitchen counter.”

“I did.” He grins, moving his face closer to mine, and I place my palms against his chest.

“Miles.”

“Em, I plan on doing that to you again—maybe on the couch, probably on the table, definitely in my bed.” My skin heats as his eyes roam mine. “What does it matter if it was our first date?”

“You’re supposed to wait until at least the third date to…” God, I reallycan’tsay it. “You know.”

“Then I’m long overdue.”

I frown. “We haven’t had a date. Technically, we still haven’t had a date.”

“What do you consider a date?”

“I don’t know. Dinner, a drink, spending time together.”

“We’ve had about a dozen meals together, Em, a few drinks, and we’ve spent lots of time together. I’m pretty sure we met your minimum requirement weeks ago, before you even came over the first time to help me out with Winter.”

“Whatever,” I mutter, dragging in a breath, and on that deep inhale, I realize the embarrassment and unease I was feeling is long gone. Just like that, he made it disappear.

“Now, what do you want to eat? I figure we have a couple more hours before Win is back.”

“Whatever you want.”

“I’m not sure after this conversation that you are ready to give me what I really want,” he says quietly, the statement slipping over my skin like silk.

He’s wrong. I’m totally ready, but I know I…weshould wait. Sex complicates things, and this situation is already complicated enough. And if the orgasm he just gave me is anything to go by, I know I will be literally and figuratively screwed if we go there. If it wouldn’t be easy to walk away now, it for sure won’t be after sex. I know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t be able to be his friend or be around him at all. Because that one orgasm just told me I’ll be thinking about him in the most inappropriate ways and angry he is likely giving what he gave me to someone else.

Which leads me to my real problem.

I get attached way too easily. I always have. So, I don’t tend to notice the flaws in the relationship I’m in, or if I do notice something that doesn’t sit well with me, it’s too late. I’m already fully invested in making things work, despite knowing I shouldn’t. That is not just an issue I have only with men. It’s happened with friendships, business relationships, and more.

“What’s that look?”

“What?” I pretend I don’t know what he’s talking about.

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