Page 66 of Before This Ends (Before)

“I’ll be right back,” he says quietly, getting out of bed.

I absently hear the bathroom sink turn on, then him moving around. Minutes later, he comes back to join me, and half asleep, I startle when I feel a warm cloth between my legs. When he’s done, he helps me sit up and slides a shirt on over my head. A shirt that is as soft and as worn as the one I wore last night, and my nose begins to sting once more. Turning off the light next to the bed, he gets in under the blankets and drags me closer.

I use his bicep as a pillow and curl into his chest, with my knees up against his abs. He cups the back of my head, wrapping his free arm around me and cocooning me in the safety of his arms. The memory of all I’ve lost feels a lot more bearable as I press my face into his chest and breathe him in. And even though it shouldn’t, that scares the hell out of me.

* * *

I wake suddenlyfrom a nightmare I haven’t had in years, and I know I’m alone before I even open my eyes or reach my hand out across the cool sheets. It’s dark, the only light coming from the streetlamp outside the window.

Sitting up, I look toward the bathroom and see the door open and the light off. I think about staying in bed, but the dream is still clinging to me, making me restless. I toss back the blanket and get up, wanting or maybe even needing to seek Miles out. When I walk out of the bedroom, I scan the living room and kitchen—both empty.

The house is quiet and dark, but then I see a light coming from the short alcove between the bedrooms. Padding across the living room, my steps falter. If he’s awake and working, he probably won’t want to be disturbed. I turn and start to walk back to the bedroom.

“Hey.”

At that quietly spoken word, I look over my shoulder and find him standing in the doorway, a blue light glowing behind him.

“Sorry, I was just going to get some water,” I lie, and he holds out his hand. Without thinking, I walk to him, and he pulls me against his bare chest.

“What woke you up?” he asks at the top of my head, and I squeeze my eyes closed.

“Just a dream.”

“About?”

“My mom.”

As he drags in a deep breath, his chest expands, and his arms tighten around me. “I’m glad you told me about your parents, but I wish I hadn’t dredged that up for you.”

“I’m okay.” I tip my head back and look up at him. “Are you working?”

“I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake you.” He sighs, and I wonder if it was my demons or his that kept him up. Letting his arms fall away, he takes my hand and walks me toward the bedroom. “Do you want to finish that movie?”

“Sure.” I shrug, climbing back into bed and handing him the remotes from the nightstand on my side. It doesn’t take long for him to get the movie pulled up, and I settle against his side, resting my head on his chest as he leans back against the headboard. As the movie plays, his breathing evens out, and his hold on me loosens.

Peeking up at him from under my lashes, I find him asleep with his lips slightly parted and almost laugh when he snores, the sound cute coming from him and a complete contradiction to who he is. Smiling, I snuggle back into his side, sliding my hand farther across his waist, and I stay like that until my eyelids get too heavy to keep open, and I eventually fall asleep.

CHAPTER24

emma

As I stand in the middle of the living room in Miranda’s old apartment, I look at the boxes surrounding me. All of them with the tape ripped open and the contents inside spilling out onto the floor. Gritting my teeth, I close my eyes. For the last four nights, I’ve woken up from a recurring nightmare that feels so real I swear I’m back there, back in the moment I walked into my mom’s bedroom and found her dead. And since Miles has insisted on me staying over every night while Hazel is in town and I haven’t put up a fight, I’ve ended up waking him each time.

This afternoon, when I spoke to my sister about the dream, she suggested I look through the photo album I have of our family, thinking that maybe replacing the images in my head with happier times will help. I’m not sure it will, but at this point, I’m willing to try anything, because even if Miles hasn’t said anything, I know it’s wearing on him.

I can see the concern and guilt on his face every time he flips on the light after I’ve jerked awake. Like he believes that him asking about my parents brought the dreams on. And maybe it did, but in my gut, it feels like something else—like a warning from my subconscious that I shouldn’t let myself fall as hard or as fast as I’m falling for Miles, or that woman in that bed might one day be me.

I swallow, feeling sick to my stomach.

Opening my eyes, I scan the boxes once more, then go to where I left my cell phone in the bedroom. Somehow, I forgot to pack the picture album when I was moving out of Eli’s apartment, which means I have no choice but to get in touch with him, so I can get it back.

I sit on the side of the bed and pull up the text chain between Eli and me, the last messages being the plans we made to meet at Lincoln’s, where I saw Miles out on a date. It’s odd looking back at the texts now and remembering how unsure I was about what I should do the moment Eli asked if we could meet to talk.

Typing quickly, I ask him if he wouldn’t mind checking the apartment for the photo album and let him know where I think I might have left it. Within seconds after pressing Send, three dots appear, then a message pops up, saying he found it a couple of days ago and had been meaning to get in touch with me.

Sighing in relief, I message back, asking if he minds if I pick it up, and his response ofSureis instantaneous. When I glance at the clock, I see I have a little over an hour before I need to be at Winter’s school to pick her up.

Hazel left to go home early this morning, and last night before she went to bed, she came upstairs to ask if I could be the one to pick her up this evening. I of course said yes, even though I had to rearrange my schedule. But things worked out in the end, since the full head of extensions I did took more time than I expected, so I would’ve had to cancel my other client anyway.

---