Page 90 of Filthy Lawyer

“I need a fresh cup of coffee.”

“Theotherthing that’s on your mind.”

“How is it that you researched the hell out of everyone else who works here—everyone down to the woman who cleans our windows part-time—and you didn’t catch this?”

I sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You always run your own background checks on anyone who gets hired to walk through these doors, and somehow the woman you begged me not to hire gets past you?”

I said nothing.

“Exactly.” He narrowed his eyes. “We’ve worked too damn hard to lose the firm over this, and I want you to know that if you weren’t in love with her, I would be charging her with three felonies, three misdemeanors, and insist that she spend at least twenty eight months in a federal prison.”

“But, because I’m feeling generous and she introduced me to my new favorite coffee flavor, I’ve decided to go with a different approach.” He paused. “This is the part when you ask me what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not in love with her anymore,” I lied. “Pursue the charges.”

“I have to take a dive into your filthy side of the law and make sure no one ever finds out about this,” he said. “I’ll clear my schedule, so be ready to work like hell by the time I get back.”

“If you were me, what would be your next best move?”

“Depends. Are we talking on the record or off?”

“Both.”

“On the record, I’d put her ass in jail and make sure she felt the wrath of the law. Off the record…” He paused. “I would figureout a way to get her lying ass back. I would also offer to refill Mr. Hamilton’s coffee since he’s been throwing not-so-subtle hints.”

RESCUE DOCTRINE (N.)

THE RULE OF LAW THAT IF A RESCUER OF A PERSON HURT OR PUT IN PERIL DUE TO THE NEGLIGENCE OR INTENTIONAL WRONGDOING OF ANOTHER, THE ORIGINAL WRONGDOER IS RESPONSIBLE IN DAMAGES FOR THE RESCUER'S INJURY

DAMIEN

Elizabeth and Ellie’s birth certificates lay at the center of my dining room table, surrounded by stacks of other files Andrew and I had pored over.

Every time I looked up to make a note of something that needed to be done, Andrew smirked at me or not-so-subtly tapped on the inappropriate employee conduct form.

“Okay, enough.” I set down my pen. “Go ahead and say it, Andrew.”

“Say what? I’m not thinking about anything over here.”

“I can see it in your eyes.”

“My eyes havethoughts?”

“All the time,” I said. “Just say it.”

“This is exactly why we have a non-fraternization policy at the firm.” He finally let it out. “You don’t shit where you eat, because if you do, things like this will happen.”

“Didn’t you sleep with yourinternwhen you worked at your previous firm?”

“No, Imarriedmy wife,” he said.

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Andrew.”

“I’m not,” he said. “Was there an actual relationship between you and Miss Tanner, or just nonstop sex?”

“It was a one time-thing.”

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