I can't tell what he's thinking. He's just looking around the closet, also avoiding eye contact and I know it's because this is probably super awkward for him.
He's about to be eighteen tomorrow and being stuck in a closet with his fourteen-year-old best friend probably doesn't appeal to him.
But I can't think of a better way to break the news.
I have a crush on you.
A big one.
And I want to have a long distant relationship with you.
Ugh. It sounded so much better when I wasn't this close to his intoxicating scent, when I didn't have to actually try and speak the words. When I thought that it might sound more mature than it actually does. And the last thing I want is for him to think that I’m childish.
Everything feels hot and clammy here, like the air is limited and…
"Five minutes!"
Time is limited too. How the heck did it tick down so fast?
I shift in my stance, crossing my ankles over one another and trying to take a deep breath.
"So," Jax says. And I can't help but smile hard at the way he sounds. Like he's nervous but unsure.
I can't tell if he's really uncomfortable or maybe…
There's no way he'd feel the same way, is there?
Jae said she sensed he might, just by her observations. Things I'm blind to because Jaxon is my best friend and I never thought in a million years he'd be into me like that.
But the way his breath hitches, it's small and quiet, but I hear it.
"What are you going to tell people when we get out of here?" I ask him, trying to see if I can gauge his feelings on our current situation.
But I already know his answer, because he's always promised to be there for me, and this time is no different than any of the others.
And I'm right. He said he'll tell them whatever I want him to. But all I can think about is telling them the truth.
That we kissed because we're a couple.
Now if only I could garner the bravery I had just moments ago to spit it out, say it all out loud.
Admit it, dammit!
I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!
But my mouth isn't forming the words.
Instead, I stutter.
“Jaxon, I-” I jump, so close to spilling my secret till someone so harshly reminds us that we are on a timer.
Jax is laughing at my reaction to the announcement.
“Not funny.” I smack his arm, or at least attempt to because before I can make impact, he's grabbing me by the wrist and gently yanking me forward.
Nowmybreath hitches and I'm forced to look directly into his eyes for the time since being confined together.
“Have you ever been kissed before, Hollis?” My heart is pounding in my chest, adrenaline coursing painfully through my veins as I teeter on the edge of word vomit.