Page 48 of Forbidden Fruit

"We have a lot to talk about, but I should probably get Dr. Jin first," I tell him as I climb back into bed with him, draping another blanket over him.

He shakes his head and gives a wistful look. I call Dr. Jin, anyway. Those soulful eyes I love so much, a dark and rich bourbon, regard me cautiously.

“You don’t have to be here.” His voice is raspy and flat. I bite my lip hard enough to taste blood to fight back my tears.

“Iwantto be here, Tomas.”

He nods once, then closes his eyes. Dr. Jin enters a few minutes later, stoic and business. The assessment moves quickly, and he makes sure Tomas knows how close to his jugular the stab wound was, telling us both how lucky he truly is. I manage to hold in my sobs until he leaves. Tomas doesn’t say anything, although I imagine the meds and his extubation stunt have him fucked up.

"I didn't want more because I was afraid of wanting more. I meant what I said. You started out as a rebound. You're hotter than sin, so charismatic, thoughtful, generous, protective. I could go on for days about your redeeming qualities. I've been fucked up over this breakup with Julian for so long. I've been fucked up over a two-year relationship that didn’t have half of the intimacy or connection that you and I have. As a college freshman who's feeling this way about theirprofessor,it's fucking scary, Tomas. I don't want to disappoint anyone. When someone looks at us individually on paper, we're perfect, and the thought of losing that is scary. The thought of losingyouis scarier. I knew it. I knew I fucked up moments after I told you I couldn't do it, that I didn't want more. You coming back that night made me feel safe, Tomas. You make me feel safe to let my guard down and to put myself first. That you would want me even if I didn't mold myself to who you wanted me to be."

Tomas moves to readjust himself and winces, but doesn’t say anything for so long that I think he fell back to sleep. After fidgeting with my hands for a while, I decide I should just go. I stand and kiss him on the forehead. He gives me a pleading look and grabs my wrist.

“Don’t go.” Tomas asks for so little and gives me so much. I sit as he entwines our hands, and just like that, I know everything will be okay.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Tomas

"Apple,Ididn'tknowI wanted this either.” It’s one in the morning, and I’ve been trying to dissect how I feel, what I want, and what the fuck to say. Her bloodshot eyes look at me cautiously, like she’s expecting me to say more and expecting it to be callous.

“I’m not Julian, Olivia. I’m not going to hurt you just because you don’t tell me what I want to hear. I wish you’d give me some goddamn credit here.”

“I know. I know thatnow.” She paces the room anxiously.

She’s the most disheveled I’ve ever seen her, but I suppose I am, too. If there were fifty other women in the room, she’d still be the most beautiful. Her silky black hair hangs in loose waves, still damp from her shower earlier. It frames her swollen face and puffy eyes. She looks like she hasn’t slept or eaten in days.

“Have you eaten anything?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve tried. I’m just not hungry.”

“You have to take care of yourself, Olivia. If you don’t, what good was all this?”

She averts her eyes into the black void outside of the window before turning to me. “I deserve that. If throwing this in my face helps you heal, so be it.” When she catches my gaze, she immediately turns back, looking everywhere except at me.

I sigh, suddenly exhausted from this fight that was supposed to be us making up.

“Look, all I’m trying to say here is if you truly want this–if you truly want me–I need to know you’re all in. I need to know you’re not skittish and going to run. I don’t take my heart and its needs lightly. I’m not one of your sex toys, even if you want me to be.”

“I’m not running. My parents know.”

I can’t hide the surprise on my face. This was one of the last things I was expecting her to say to me. “You told your father?”She gives me a disarming grin. “He told me, actually.”

“How did he know?”

She huffs out a breath. “Well, when Tim and Brayden brought you to the apartment, I wasn’t sure who to call besides EMS, so I called him. He stopped in to visit and said he’s expected as much since my great Bennington linebacker audition, as he referred to it.”

I chuckle softly and hiss out a breath. As they begin to wean me from meds, the pain becomes more pronounced. Olivia stops, looking at me with her emerald eyes full of tenderness and concern. “Tell me what you need, Tomas.”

“Nothing at the moment, apple. Well, maybe one thing.”“What would that be?”

“A kiss.”

She’s straddling me less than a heartbeat later, tenderly leading our lips and mouth in a slow waltz. I knew she cared for me and was falling as hard as I was. She’s an open-book when it comes to her feelings, even when she doesn’t recognize it herself. While I’m not thrilled about how this played out, if it makes her stop and consider her own feelings and what she wants instead of putting everyone else in the goddamn world first, I’ll take it.“I’m sorry.” Her voice is somber as tears well in her eyes.“You have nothing to be sorry about, Olivia.”“How can you say that, Tomas? I almost got you killed.”

Bringing my hands to both sides of her face, I meet her gaze. “No,Ialmost gotmyselfkilled. It was a conscious decisionImade thatIdid not consult you about. I know you would’ve told me to fuck off, but I couldn’t let it go. He needed to be put in his place.”

She nods. “I still feel pretty terrible about how everything went down, Tomas. I hope you’ll let me make it up to you.”

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