Page 37 of Sin

The smile she flashed my way should have made me piss myself. “Oh, Sinister,” she said in a voice so sweet it was a threat, “then it’s a good thing you have me to practice with. Now, shields up.”

That was all the warning I got before her hand snared mine.

My thoughts spiraled, and pain lit up my head as I felt an intense pressure against my skull.

I hissed through my teeth, fighting off Mare’s intrusion to the best of my ability. But like I’d said, I hadn’t had much practice fighting off mental attacks since anyone in the past who’d even thought to try hadn’t ever been able to get through my mind’s natural shields. But I knew Mare was different. I’d always known, even before I’d met her.

The stories I’d heard of how easily she could break a person meant she was probably one of the strongest Supers alive. It was why, admittedly, I’d been so scared of her when I’d first arrived. Because her ability gave her access to all my deepest fears and regrets. To the nightmares I wouldn't even allow myself to think about.

Even at full strength, she would have been a worthy opponent in a fight. But now?

Gritting my teeth, I focused on the walls I’d been taught to keep up at all times when my power had first manifested. But I’d very obviously let my shields go to shit, because when I reached for them, the walls were crumbling, barely holding together.

It was a true insight into my mental health, and I felt oddly vulnerable letting Mare see this.

Had I really fallen to this level? Had I really and truly neglected myself to the point where my mental shields were hardly staying upright?

Biting the inside of my cheek, I mentally kicked myself for letting myself go this far, and got to work repairing the damage I’d caused with my neglect. But even as I repaired my shields brick by brick, the pressure in my head only increased.

Mare’s laughter reverberated inside my head, causing the foundation of my walls to wobble and several of those freshly repaired bricks to fall away. There was an insistent tug, and a crack ran up the wall.

That tugging feeling intensified, and more bricks peeled away. I panicked, trying to seal the gap in the wall, but I couldn’t seem to close it fast enough.

That buried box within my mind cracked open. A memory rose to the surface, shining through the fissure in my shields.

I munched on a chocolate chip cookie while my mom and several of her friends rallied down the street outside the Citadel. I knew she’d scold me when she discovered just how many of the cookies I’d eaten. She was supposed to bring them to the Scourge meeting later, but she couldn’t have really expected me to sit and wait for her in this car smelling of sugar and chocolatey goodness?

Several Supers in uniform stood guard at the base of the steps leading up to the Citadel’s entrance, keeping the large crowd and group of protesters from advancing any further. A man broke off from the crowd and faced my mother and the other protesters, reading the signs they held and crossed his arms over a pair of scrubs. Most of the signs called the UAS the United Association of Shams. Some called for a government reform.

I’d helped my mom with hers earlier that morning. Filled in the block letters with colored markers on the white poster paper.

She’d commented that her sign matched the multi-colored skirt she’d chosen to wear that day.

The man stepped toward my mother, and even from this distance, I could tell they were yelling at each other. He pointed at her sign, then at the others rallying behind her. She shook her head and raised her sign higher, the words “It’s time for change” bright and bold enough to see from here.

Then the man grabbed her by the wrist and started dragging her up the Citadel steps. The other protesters tried to snatch her back, but the uniformed Supers blocked their path.

My heart flip-flopped, and I shoved out of the car, the cookies toppling out after me. I didn’t pay them a second glance as I ran toward the Citadel, toward where the man now stood at the top of the steps. My mother stood just in front of him, struggling unsuccessfully to wrench her arm out of his grasp.

“You obviously feel like you have something important to say,” he said, his voice somehow amplified. The man gestured with his free hand to the anxious crowd below. Then he knocked her down, making her fall to her knees. “Here’s your chance. Come on, let’s hear it.”

My mother breathed deeply, catching her breath as she stared down at the crowd. I knew the moment she saw me shoving through the sea of bodies because her expression faltered but her gaze didn’t waver from my face.

No.

“For too long, we’ve been oppressed,” she said, raising her voice to be heard. “Our families, friends, and businesses have suffered because there are those in power who take selfishly. Who have all the power and influence but do nothing to help the rest of us. Every law benefits them. Every tax feeds their greedy pockets. But when do we say enough is enough? When is it time to stand up for what’s right, even when we’re scared?”

She smiled so sadly, and a tear fell down her cheek. Dread clouded my lungs like I’d inhaled smoke because this couldn’t be happening. How had this gone so wrong so fast?

“But that’s what makes us brave. It’s when we’re scared, but we fight for what’s right anyway. So I’m asking you,” she said, her brown eyes, the same eyes I saw every time I looked in the mirror, stayed fastened on me, watching as I fought to reach her through the throng of uneasy onlookers. And even though she spoke to the crowd, it seemed like her words were meant specifically for me. “Will you be brave?”

The man behind her slow clapped in a way which came off as condescending. “Aw, what a cute speech. Inspiring, really.” He grabbed both of my mother’s arms, “Let this be a lesson to those who feel brave,” he said, shaking his head like he was disappointed. The excited gleam in his gaze spoke differently.

I pressed forward with more force, my panic so strong that I didn’t care how many bodies I rammed out of my way. My manners had flown out the window the moment my mother had been hauled up those steps.

Still, I wasn’t making the progress I needed. So I did the only thing I could think of.

“Move!” I shouted, my power flaring hot and bright, scalding me with its intensity. The crowd began to move aside, powerless against my command. But I’d never used it on this many people at once, and my power could only do so much.

---