Page 28 of Sin

After quickly getting ready in the main floor bathroom while Jinx played bodyguard, we headed out for the airport before the sun’s rays crossed the horizon. It had taken some time, but Jinx had managed to find a connection between one of the workers and the city of Monroe. Apparently, a worker named Jessica Hughes had a second cousin, Natalie Hughes, who lived in the outskirts of the city. One search later, and we’d had Natalie’s home address.

London was unusually quiet, barely speaking or looking at me on the drive to the airport, nor when I was seated next to him on the flight.

My fatigue left me feeling even more unbalanced, and the sickening thoughts and memories from the night lingered at the back of my mind. And I hated it. I hated feeling so weak, stressed, alone… Hated that I was one more problem away from having a mental breakdown. I’d never needed validation from others, had grown up with confidence and a self-assurance close to arrogance. But I wasn’t the same guy I was even a few years ago. It was crazy how one mistake could cause such irreparable damage to someone’s personality.

Tal vez yo sí necesitaba psiquiatra.

During the flight, I reached multiple times into my pocket, feeling the small bottle of pills from Mend. But every time I thought of taking one, I talked myself out of it. It was silly, really. They were just pills, and they were supposed to help me, weren’t they?

Then why did it bother me so much?

I’d fretted so much about it that I made myself sick to my stomach on the flight. I hadn’t eaten much for breakfast, just an apple and slice of toast, something London had observed with obvious disapproval. And even on the three-hour flight, I only managed to take a few sips from a mini water bottle. Not that it mattered. I didn’t have much of an appetite anyway.

London seemed to be taking note of my poor food consumption, but we were still pretending I was fine, so he didn’t call me out on it. Yet.

When we landed at our destination, a city about 200 miles south of Monroe, my stomach growled, begging me to eat something. London pressed a protein bar into my hand, giving me a stern look, and I forced myself to eat it.

After ditching the jet, we packed ourselves into a spacey rental van, planning to head toward Monroe. London rode in the front passenger seat while Lewis drove, blasting some bright pop music I didn’t recognize from the car speakers. Jinx and Blade crammed themselves into the middle row, Jinx’s bulk making him take up a ridiculous amount of space. Mare was stuck in the back with me, but the moment she’d gotten into her seat, she’d shoved a pair of earbuds in her ears and promptly ignored me. That was just fine with me though. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

Despite all the room in the van, especially in the back row, my legs more than once went numb from being in one position for too long. London and Lewis chatted it up in the front, sometimes inviting Jinx and Blade into their conversation.

No one tried to include me in the conversations. If I were still a betting man, I would have bet they sensed the tension between London and me and were ignoring me as an act of solidarity for London.

Joke was on them, though. I was used to being ignored.

We traveled for hours. Hours of absolute silence, and I was growing more and more restless. So much so, that I almost jolted at the small tap against my arm.

Mare stared at me, holding out one of her earbuds toward me.

Slowly, I accepted the small earpiece, wondering if this was somehow a trick or something, and placed it in my ear.

Toy Story’s, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” played in my ear, making me grin. Mare sent me a smirk in return.

Maybe the others would come around and give me a chance too. I hoped the longer we spent time together, the more they would warm up to me. Because this was just ridiculous.

I’d keep trying though, because I was nothing if not persistent.

We stopped at gas stations along the way, and I even started to miss prison when they wouldn’t give me the dignity of peeing in private.

It went unspoken that I wasn’t allowed to drive, not that I wanted to. I hadn’t touched the wheel of a car since I’d crashed London’s car into a sinkhole.

Mare and I entertained ourselves with Disney songs, and I softly hummed and sang along to the ones I knew. Mare simply listened the whole time, but she didn’t seem bothered by me singing.

Plus, listening to music was the perfect distraction from the man who kept driving outside the lines. Lewis, happy-go-lucky, Lewis, drove the entire time, and I genuinely wondered how he’d managed to get his license. He was terrible. So terrible that I wondered if he was secretly a sadist and enjoyed our terror when he made a close call.

With my earbud free ear, I listened to Lewis chat away, describing a time when he’d accidentally built a bomb in his mom’s kitchen.

If there was one thing I’d learned on this drive, it was that Lewis was a very enthusiastic storyteller. He didn’t seem capable of telling a story without using his hands, which drove me nuts. Especially right now, because one moment we were driving down the freeway, and the next, we were protecting our heads as the van cut quickly across the lanes to take an exit. He’d been so invested in his own story that he hadn’t been paying attention to where we needed to go.

Seriously. One day into the mission, and Lewis was already making me question my decision to be here.

“Can you please, por el amor de Dios, pay attention to the motherfucking road?” I growled, rubbing at the side of my head. I really needed to see if someone could get me a helmet or something because I was over banging my head into the window.

“Sorry!” Lewis called, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “But look, we’re here!”

Peering out the window, I spotted a sign welcoming us to the city of Monroe. We filled up at a gas station just off the exit, and London and Jinx headed inside to grab a few snacks and use the restroom. The rest of us climbed out of the van to stretch our legs but remained by the vehicle. Mare leaned against the van while she scrolled through her phone, her earbuds now dangling from her neck. Blade stood beside her, messing around with something on a tablet before she stepped back into the van.

Lewis whistled while he filled up the gas tank, chipper and way too damn annoying for my mood. As if he sensed this, he glanced up and beamed at me. “Feelin’ all right, Sin?”

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