Page 70 of Sin

In the parking garage, London hauled me over to where we parked the van and basically tossed me into the front passenger seat. I watched, both aroused and a little irritated as the sexy man stormed around the front of the van to hop into the driver’s seat.

The moment his door closed, he turned on me. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“When? Like, now, when you reminded me just how easily you could toss me around in the bedroom or…?”

He narrowed his gaze on me. “Don’t play coy. You know exactly what I mean. You purposefully went behind my orders and let Mare use her powers on you.”

I stiffened. “I already went over this with you. I knew I’d be fine since we were coming to visit Mend. I recognize now that it was reckless, and I’m sorry, but it was a risk I was willing to take.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, London slowly inhaled and exhaled several times. “Why do you not care about your own well-being? Do you really not care if something happens to you? Don’t you know how many people care about you and would be devastated if something happened to you?”

“No, I don’t know.”

His hand dropped, and he stared at me with a pained, almost haunted look in his eyes. “What do you mean you don’t know, Sin? You have so many people who love you and—”

I interrupted him, my voice frustrated and just… exhausted. “London, I’ve spent the past two years in a maximum-security prison full of the world’s biggest and baddest Supers. Many of whom weren't too fond of me or my dad. But I dealt with the beatings, the taunts, the…” I stopped myself, my panic rising all too quickly as certain memories tried to break free from their locked box. I cleared my throat. “I endured all the mistreatment because I understood it. Their anger, their blame. They were hurting and I just happened to be a convenient punching bag for them to let loose all their emotional baggage on. But over time, being told how worthless I was, how horrible I was, started to get to me.”

I laughed bitterly, unable to hold back my own feelings of resentment. “But you know what kept me going? You. You and Bennett and Eva and all the rest of our friends who came and showed me support. All of you who cared about me.” I snorted. “But all of you, these people who care about and love me, stopped coming. That’s when the days started getting a little darker, a little harder to ignore all the abuse.” Angry tears welled in my eyes, and I ground my teeth, refusing to let them fall. “I told myself you were busy. That all of you were busy but you hadn’t forgotten me. But deep down, I always knew it was a lie. But still, I let myself believe the lie. Then I got the chance to be free, to finally see you again. And you told me you didn’t actually want me here.”

London opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off with a glare, letting him know I wasn’t done. He wisely chose to close it.

“So if you’re honestly going to try to make it seem like you or anyone else cares,” I continued, tone harsh and unyielding, “you can save it. Actions speak a whole hell of a lot stronger than words, and both your words and actions would have me believing you would have preferred to leave me to rot down in that prison.”

“That’s not fair,” he said, apparently unable to stay silent any longer. He reached for me. When I didn’t stop him, he grabbed one of my hands. “I know I’ve said and done some things that hurt you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. But you do have a lot of people who care about you. But we’ve all been going through our own shit. And while that’s not a very good excuse, it’s the truth. Still, we should have tried harder to be there for you. I’m sorry.”

My heart did a little somersault, even though his words weren’t quite the apology I’d hoped for.

“Why did you stop visiting?” I asked in a voice barely more than a whisper. Even though I knew the answer, I needed to hear him say it.

He was silent for so long I wondered if he either hadn’t heard or didn’t plan to respond. His thumb continued to swipe back and forth over my skin, almost as if trying to soothe me. But then he broke the silence and said, “I guess it all just became too much.”

“I needed you,” I confessed, holding his gaze and letting him see the hurt I’d tried to ignore by his absence. Lo necesitaba y me abandonó.

Swallowing, London held my stare. “I know, and I really am sorry. I was just so angry, and I said some things I shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, me too.” I looked away, feeling too raw and open right now. I withdrew my hand from his, the conversation leaving me unfulfilled. “Where are we going now? Are we just leaving the others here?”

“Sin,” he started, reaching out to cup my face.

But then a third voice caused us to startle.

“Is now a good time to let you guys know I’m here?”

We both jerked around in our seats to find Mare’s head popping up from where she’d apparently been lying in the back row. She rubbed at her eyes, smearing some of her makeup in the process.

“For fuck’s sake, Mare,” London said on a harsh breath. “You’ve been here the whole time? I thought you were with Jinx.”

She shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Honestly, I thought she’d be having a heyday getting to witness this drama. “I was. We dropped off the drug to the labs, but that was all they needed from us. I don’t know where Jinx went after, but I wasn’t planning to wait around in the labs while they worked.” She snorted and slipped her arms into her jacket, and I glimpsed the silvery pink scars on her wrists. “They wouldn’t have been able to focus with me there. So I figured I’d come and catch some sleep here while I could.”

“Why not use the sleeping quarters in the Citadel?”

Righting her jacket, she sent London an are-you-really-this-stupid sort of look. “Like I pointed out earlier, I don’t make people the most comfortable. It would have been the same issue if I’d used the sleeping areas.”

London sighed and faced me again. “You two are idiots, but I know you’re just trying to be prepared. Which is why I’m going to ignore the fact you two decided practicing against mental invasion was a smart decision only days after Sin had a stroke…” He really didn't sound like he planned to ignore it. “Just as long as you don’t do something like that in the future. I understand this is a serious situation and we need to catch Lucas. But not allowing ourselves to recover will only hinder our mission.”

“Pot meet kettle,” Mare pointed out, and London startled.

“She has a point,” I added, enjoying how London seemed to realize too late how hypocritical he was, considering he’d pushed himself past what he should have, multiple times, in order to locate Lucas.

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