Page 67 of Sin

“Not long before Daddy Sin tried to cause a mass genocide.” I sent her a dry look, and she smirked. “Too soon?”

Shaking my head, I said, “How did you find out?”

Her expression grew distant as she lost herself in a memory. “He bumped into me at a restaurant. Touched my arm. Likely to gain access to my powers. But it backfired because I got access to his fears in turn. His shields were absolute shit.” She laughed, low and raspy. “Pretty sure I knew he loved his boys before he did. Because he was so scared they’d find out he was the shape-shifting Villain Bandit. That once they knew the truth, they’d want nothing to do with him.”

“What does this have to do with how you became a Mercenary? Why you did the things you did?”

She knocked her knee into mine. “I’m getting to that part. Damn, dude. You’re too impatient.”

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“It’s important because not many people know the true extent of my power.”

“And what’s that?”

She met my penetrating gaze head on. “I not only see someone’s fears, their worries and regrets. Each time I look into someone’s mind and pull out their nightmares, I have to feel their emotions as my own.”

“You live their nightmares?” I asked, horrified. That meant, the memories she’d seen of mine. With my mom and the one from just now…

She must have seen where my thoughts had gone because she nodded. “Yes. I lived your memories. I saw what you did. I felt your fear, your grief, your pain.” She blinked at me. “You’ve seen a lot of death in your life.”

“I’ve caused a lot of death,” I said with a sigh.

Shaking her head, she smiled sadly. “If there’s one thing I’ve had to learn, it’s that shit happens, but it’s how we respond to the hard times that makes us who we are.”

“Speaking from experience?” I asked, not expecting her to actually answer.

“I was eight years old when my power first manifested,” Mare confessed in a voice so quiet I needed to strain to hear her. “Growing up, my family had always been close. Nightly family dinners, Saturday movie nights with popcorn and candy. The world sucked, but we knew we had each other. Sure, we had our issues. My parents fought sometimes, and my older sister got into some pretty heavy drugs. I know I didn’t make it easy either, always sneaking out and pulling pranks on the neighbors.” She smirked. “Man, my mom was so mad this one time when the police brought me home in the middle of the night, informing her that I’d used the last of the toilet paper to TP our landlord’s car. He’d just raised our rent, and I knew my parents were worried about it.”

Her gaze was moved to a spot on the van interior, and she swallowed hard. “I was eight years old when my mother left.” Her hands balled in her lap. “She was always so fun, my mom. Sometimes she’d sneak me and my sister out to go get ice cream at midnight while my dad was sleeping. She took us to get mani pedis every couple of weeks. Let us color our hair and dress the way we wanted. She felt it was important to be true to who we were, and she promised to always be there for us while we figured out just who that was.”

Her eyes met mine, and for once, they weren’t guarded. “That was before I touched her once while we were watching a movie together and locked her in her very own nightmare.” She laughed bitterly. “I didn’t understand at first what had happened, why I’d seen my mother drowning over and over and over, screaming as she came up for air and begging for me, for anyone, to help her.” Mare’s eyes closed. “Even today, I can still remember the way her fear felt, the way my own did too. The way my throat spasmed in pain as the feeling of water choked my lungs.

“I stayed with her the whole time, crying because I was eight and didn’t understand what had happened. My dad came home from work and found us like that. It took her hours to come out of the nightmare, and you know what the first thing she said? ‘Get that thing away from me!’ My mom never touched me after that, especially not after my power developed more and grew stronger. Pretty soon, I was able to do more than see people’s nightmares. I was able to keep them there. Force them to live their fears or relive their worst moments as long as I wished.”

She was quiet for a moment, deep in thought. “My mom wouldn’t touch me after the day my powers emerged. Except once. Only once. And that’s when I discovered why.”

“Why?”

She smiled sadly. “I realized I had become my mom’s greatest fear. She was terrified of me.”

My heart ached at the confession, and I wished I could comfort her but didn’t know how. “I'm sorry.”

She shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but we both knew it was. “It was around then that my abandonment issues developed. My mom left, my sister left the moment she turned eighteen, and then my dad… My dad promised he wouldn’t leave either, but then one day, not even he came home. It took me years to understand it wasn’t my fault. That their problems were theirs to deal with and not for me to fix. I’ve gone through a lot of shit in my life, and if we’re being real here, I didn’t always handle it the best. But I’d like to think I’ve grown, that I’m a better person now and capable of making better decisions.” She turned her face away, but I caught the glimpse of tears in the window. “You’ve gone through a lot of shit too, Sin. But I’m also aware you’ve tried to fix things, in your own way. Do I think you’ve done the best job? No. But do I think you’re the one to blame for the damage your father did? Also, no. That belongs to him and him alone.”

I didn’t think she realized how much I appreciated her words.

In the silence that followed, I reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a grateful squeeze. It took a moment, but then she squeezed back.

“You know, the world labeled you as a heartless bitch,” I said thoughtfully, “but I think we can take out the heartless part of that title. Just a bitch.”

With a slightly wet laugh, she smacked me. But then she smiled at me, and I wondered if Mare and I had just become friends.

Chapter Fourteen

Hey, sorry about that panic attack last time I saw you. How are your cats?

We split ways after reaching the Citadel. Mare and Jinx left to take the drug to the labs to be tested. Blade and Lewis headed to the weapons room to stock up on supplies. That left London showing me the way to the infirmary to be treated.

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