Page 103 of A Little Naughty

“Come on, we’ve got to get you dressed.” She reaches down, gently grasping my arm and pulling me to my feet.

I’m surprised I can walk, but Monay has always been strong enough for the both of us. “There’s no need to disturb evidence.” Her voice is all business, and I glance at my front door to see yellow police tape blocking it.

It’s another painful reminder. It’s why when EMS left, I sat down where I was, under the boughs of flowers my husband planted for me.

Looking down, I’m still in my nightgown and my plush white robe with the wordWifemonogrammed on the pocket. I lean heavily on her arm, and she practically carries me through the gate to the newspaper office.

“My clothes…”

“Cass has Nikki at her house, but Piper said she didn’t see you when she picked up Porkchop. He’s going to be fine, don’t worry. Dr. Henry said it was some kind of tranquilizer.” Monay continues talking as she opens the glass front door. “They thought you’d gone to the hospital.”

“I don’t have a car.” My voice slowly returns with each swallow.

My friend stops in place and puts a large hand on her hip. “Well, hell, I don’t either.” She shakes her head. “I’ll message Cass and see if she can find us a ride. We’ve got to get you to Ridgeland. I can’t believe the closest hospital is almost an hour away. What kind of backwater…”

“Why am I going to the hospital?” Hollow pain echoes in my chest where my heart used to be. It hurts so much, I rub my hand over the spot, forcing my lungs to breathe.

Monay’s platinum head tilts to the side. “Don’t you want to be there?”

“Not really.” My voice is quiet. “Although, I guess as his wife, they need me to do things…”

I’m honestly not sure what wives do in situations like this. Our marriage was for a very specific purpose. It wasn’t until later that things started to get blurry, that they started to feel like forever.

Or was it right from the start?

Til death us do part…

Panic seizes my lungs, as if they sense the tsunami of grief on the horizon surging towards me, faster than the eye can see or even understand, forging a path of destruction powerful enough to take me under.

I won’t survive this.

“As a wife, you need to be at his bedside holding his hand.” She shakes her head like she doesn’t understand me. “I know you didn’t have any kind of role models when you were a child, but honestly, girl. He’s coming out of surgery any minute, and we’ve got to get you dressed and to the hospital.”

The jolt in my chest is so abrupt, I almost vomit. I swallow and hold the counter as the blood rushes from my face.

“Surgery?” I can barely say the word.

“Yes, surgery! It’s a miracle what these surgeons can do nowadays. Hell, I heard they could’ve probably saved JFK if he’d been shot today, but he’s still looking at a significant recovery?—”

I grip her arm fast. “He’s alive?”

Monay blinks at me, her glossy lips part, and realization breaks over her face. “Baby girl…” Her voice softens, and she puts her hands on my arms. “Yes, he’s alive. He’s going to be okay.”

A violent sob bursts from my chest. It’s a massive heave mixed with a scream. My knees go out, and Monay catches me, moving us quickly to the bench.

I can’t breathe.

I’m a fish on the beach, out of water, and another gut-wrenching sob rakes through my throat. I can’t see through the tears, leaning forward as Monay holds me.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay…” She hugs me to her, rubbing my back and rocking us both. “I got you. It’s all going to be okay.”

All the tears I never cried from all the years of not giving up, of holding on and surviving, of losing my mother, of being abandoned, of being brave when I was terrified.

Every time I fought to be strong and not hard, to love and believe in love—it all comes bursting through like a mighty dam has ruptured.

My eyes are closed, and I hold onto Monay. I hold onto the lifeline she gives me. The safety net she’s always thrown in the flood. I hold onto her until the water recedes and my toes brush against solid ground. Rocking back and forth, we make our way to the shore.

I’m shaken and weak, but I haven’t lost everything.

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