Page 169 of Bossy Romance

He takes another sip of the sake. “You know all this and yet you have not made a move to marry her.”

“Something deep inside won’t allow me to,” I admit. “I keep looking for another way out.”

“What if time runs out before you find one? Can you live with yourself if you let your child’s mother die unfulfilled and unhappy?”

The guilt pricks me again. It’s like a needle that keeps growing and surging in deeper.

“I love Nova. I have always loved Nova. Iwillalways love Nova. But if I do this, if I marry someone else, there’s no coming back from that.”

“That is not true. I was married to someone early on in life. It was many years later before I met Dejonae. Being married to someone once does not mean you are no longer deserving of love.”

I shake my head miserably and drain my entire glass of sake. “You don’t understand how Nova thinks. We spent seven long years dancing around each other. I just barely got her and then I lost her. If I marry my old girlfriend right after we broke up, do you think she’ll forgive me?” I shake my head. “She’s not the type to give second chances. Especially when she’s cut someone off.”

“I cannot tell you what to do, Adam, not when it comes to your relationship with Nova. I can only speak to you as a father.”

The sake is stronger than I expected. I’m already starting to feel the buzz under my skin.

Sazuki slides his elbow across the counter and stares into the distance. “My relationship with Niko is different than my relationship with Dejonae. I would die for them both. I would live for them both. I love them both, but in different ways.”

I nod. Perhaps it’s the sake, but I feel Sazuki is talking a lot more than he usually would tonight.

“Your relationship with your son is different from your relationship with Nova, but it is not the same and therein lies the problem.”

I squint. “Make it make sense.”

“Does he feel your love as fiercely as Nova does? You make it quite obvious how you care for her. You defer to her. You put time and effort into making her life easier. You would cut your own heart out to make her happy. Is this not true?”

I drink again. “It is.”

Sazuki grabs a porcelain flask and pours more into my glass. “Would your son say the same?”

I frown.

Sazuki stares pointedly at me.

“Rowan knows I’ve got his back.”

“What would make him the happiest? Do you know?”

“If there was a cure for his mother’s illness, he’d probably explode with glee.”

“And apart from that?”

I lift a shoulder. “Anything to make Alexa happy would make him happy.”

“Then you know what your son needs. It is not what you need. Perhaps it is not what you want. But this is what being a parent is. This is your responsibility as a father. It is a heavy task.” His eyes are solemn. “It is the reason many would rather abandon their children than be involved in their lives. If it were easy, would there not be more fathers in the home?”

His words burn me.

I look away and reach for a drink.

These tiny bowls are too small. I take the sake flask and pour it myself.

Sazuki frowns at me. “If you are there for his mother, then when his mother can no longer be with him, your son will remember that, whether now or years from now.”

“I know.”

“Then why do you hesitate?”

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