Page 16 of Bond & Protect

I’m freezing, absolutely petrified. I don’t know if that numbing sensation is about to take control of me or not. I definitely feel like I’m slipping away. I’m losing control of me.

But then, much to my surprise, and probably the shock of everyone else as well, the monster stops, cocks an ear, and then beats a hasty retreat. It’s almost as if it’s trying to run away from something, or someone, but I can’t see anything that might cause him fear.

What the fuck is going on? I wonder as I wait for the numbness to slip away. I need it gone now. The claim it has on me is way too much. It takes a bunch of time, but ever so slowly, I start to return back into my body. I can feel Amos back in my arms once more…

Fuck, Amos. He’s hurt. Really hurt. I forgot all about that as I drifted off into a trance. I fucking hate it when the monster does that. I don’t like losing control of myself.

“Elias,” I try to say, but the words are more of a croak than anything else. But he hears me anyway. He turns to look at me. But he’s torn. He doesn’t know whether to chase the monster or stay with me and his wounded packmate. “Stay with me, please.”

Once Elias remains by mine and Amos’s side, the other wolves start to come into view. Sydney and Liam are with us too, which I have to admit does make me feel a whole lot better. At least these guys might know what to do to help Amos and to keep him alive.

“We need to bandage Amos up,” Liam commands. “Get him back to the cabin.”

“We also need to get that fucking thing,” Elias barks back.

“I’ll go,” Sydney insists. He doesn’t look like he wants to be here at all. I don’t know if it’s me or Amos’s injuries making him uncomfortable, but he needs to go. I can see it in his eyes. He needs to run to do something that will make him feel worthwhile. Useful. “I’ll get it. You don’t need to worry. That fucker isn’t going to get away from me.”

I don’t want Sydney to go, but I don’t have the words to say a thing. My throat is still cold and barely able to move. That trance like bull shit seems to affect me way more than anyone else. I need to be useful as well, though, so I do what I can to help bandage Amos up. Elias and I follow Liam’s instructions to make sure this poor guy doesn’t bleed out. Amos is looking worse by the minute, and that’s a horrible feeling for me. For all of us.

God damn it, life really is a nightmare here, isn’t it? Did I make the right choice coming back here?

I thought it was, but now I’m afraid and starting to think that my family left this town for a reason. Maybe I should have picked somewhere else to hide away from my stalker. The one thing I know I could never have done is stayed because I wouldn’t be alive anymore.

Although if I carry on running around with the wolves like this, I might end up dead anyway.

Eventually, Liam is satisfied that we will be able to get Amos back to the cabin where he can work on him more. Nervously, I walk behind him and Elias, barely listening as they talk about some other wolf who is being treated by an elder. I don’t think that has anything to do with what’s happening here, so I consider the importance of my memories instead.

I haven’t told the guys yet, but I will, when the time is right. As soon as Elias left me, just as I was about to go into my home, that numb sense of loneliness overcame me. It clung to me so hard I felt like I was back in the city again, isolating myself so my stalker couldn’t get to me.

I was scared and alone, unable to make myself feel warm and comforted again. So I followed the monster, almost eagerly. I’m ashamed of that, but what I really need to focus on is that wolf. The one that was fighting the monster. Who was that wolf? I’ve seen the guys in their wolf form, and it’s none of them, which must mean it’s a stranger.

I don’t know much about wolf packs and their lore, but that has to mean something, right? Maybe this mystery wolf has something to do with The Rift opening again. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do need to try and rack my brain for any detail I can recall about that wolf. I’m sure Elias and the others are going to want to know.

It isn’t easy. Even now, the memories are still a little fuzzy, but I think as hard as I possibly can. I just hope the guys are keeping tabs on what’s happening around us because I’m literally just following their steps, looking forward to being back in the safety of the cabin, and the bed that’s starting to feel like my own. Even more so than the apartment I’ve been living in. By now, I’ve spent more nights sleeping in the cabin, so I guess it’s my home. For now.

It's a relief when we see home, and head inside. Amos is laid out on the table, which is still rested on top of that God damn book. Why don’t they get something better to stabilize the table?

“Can I do anything to help?” I ask desperately the moment Liam lays Amos out on the table. “Do you need anything? Can I… I don’t know, pass you anything?”

He shoots me that sweet, calming smile of his. “You don’t need to do anything. Amos is going to be okay. It might be a good time for you to take a moment to rest.”

Guilt flows through my system as I back away and eventually head towards the stairs. This all happened because of me, and I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. How can I make things right when Liam is pushing me away? I know that he’s doing the right thing, obviously. He’s putting Amos first, which he needs to do, but that doesn’t make it any easier on me. I fold my arms protectively across my chest and race up the stairs as fast as I can go.

But I’m not alone. By the time I reach the top step, I notice the shadow of Sydney behind me.

“No,” I whisper desperately at him as I shake my head. “No, I can’t talk to you now.”

There’s no way I can cope with these feelings, not for Sydney as well. Kissing Amos and fooling around with Elias has already created this entire situation. I need to keep the hell away from everyone so I don’t create more tension. How can I make Sydney understand that?

“Well, we can always be one another’s firsts,” I remember muttering to him, thinking that it might actually happen. But now I feel like I’m a beacon for danger, and he needs to keep away.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he insists firmly. “I’m staying here with you. Liam and Elias have everything under control downstairs. I’m staying with you.”

Frustration bubbles up inside of me. “No, I don’t need you to stay. I need to be alone.”

He doesn’t listen, I might as well not be speaking. The way his eyes stare down at me infuriates me even further. I’m going to make him listen to me if it’s the last thing I do.

“Sydney, no, you need to go.” I press my hands to him and shove him hard. Of course, his rock hard muscles are so strong, I can push him as hard as I want, and he isn’t going anywhere. “I don’t want to talk to you right now. I don’t want to talk to any of you, I need to be left alone.”

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