Page 50 of Kismet

“You have been struggling on your own for far too long. I hope you realize now that you are not alone in this. The only reason my sisters and I managed to overcome my father was the fact that we drew together and not apart. You have people who want to help you—allow them that. Allow yourself that. Even in battle, you did not fight alone. You had an entire group of other soldiers fighting with you.”

With a heavy heart, he turned and looked at Catherine, his shoulders drooping. “You are right. I did not look for help when I should have and when I did look for help, I went to the wrong person.”

“Yes, well, you will also have to admit that I might just be smarter than you at times.” Despite Theodore’s dejected state, Catherine smiled, seeming to wait for him to realize something.

Noticing her expression, Theodore began to perk up. Was it possible that he had not entirely ruined what could be his only chance at happiness and love? “I wholeheartedly agree. I should have realized that as a mere colonel, I should have appealed to my general for help.”

Wrinkling her nose playfully, Catherine responded, “I am not fond of the designation of general. I prefer Artemis.”

“Yes, how could I forget? As a mere mortal, I should have looked to my goddess for guidance.” Approaching Catherine with hope in his heart, he could see the laughter in her eyes as he reached out to take her hand. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Fighting a grin, she replied, “Well, let me think about your errors. In short, your understanding of how to honor your brother's legacy was flawed. The disconcerting fact was that you were losing touch with your own identity. You were incorrect in trusting your mother. Most of all, you were wrong to assume I was incapable of facing the ton and their lies.” Though it all sounded grim, Catherine did not seem at all disturbed by the list of his errors.

Nodding his head in agreement, Theodore concurred with her assessment. “All correct. I am so sorry.”

Catherine tilted her head, revealing a mischievous smile, and eyes filled with laughter. “Mary told me you should grovel.”

Drawing closer, he knelt in front of her, his broad chest brushing her knees. “I will. I am determined to say or do anything necessary to remove the wariness I observed on your face earlier,” Theodore affirmed.

Taking up Theodore's other hand, she held them both in her own. “I do not need you to grovel. I need you to do something that might be harder. Trust in me and have faith that we can confront and conquer anything that comes our way, hand in hand. I need you to reach out and grasp love tightly, hold onto it with both hands, and cherish its essence alongside me.”

“Hand in hand?” Theodore intertwined his fingers with hers, creating an intimate connection. His thumb ran along the underside of her wrist and he felt her shudder.

With a visible swallow, Catherine responded shakily. “Yes, I want to work together with you in a partnership. In case you hadn’t noticed, I am not your typical society maiden. I do not need to be shielded from life. I demand to be a part of it.”

“If you are so eager to demand your part in my life,” he wondered aloud, “does that mean I am forgiven? Can you ease the agony in my heart and bring me solace with your mercy?”

“Your heartfelt apologies have left me with no choice but to forgive you.” Catherine's forgiving gaze met Theodore's, their eyes locking in a moment of understanding. “It is just as well as I cannot fathom my life without you by my side.”

Theodore clutched her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. He took a moment of simply breathing in the love that she so freely offered, and that he had stupidly cast aside. With the certainty that he had not lost his chance of a happy life filled with love, he felt a surge of joy that made his head spin.

Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes and, emboldened by what he saw there, Theodore made a snap decision. Settling back on his heels, he took up Catherine’s hands once more. “Now that you have granted me clemency, I must beg for another favor. I have learned the perils of shouldering too many responsibilities, and I realize that my current approach is unsustainable. I need help. I cannot take on everything alone as I have been doing. Leaning on my mother’s advice is out of the question. I need the help of someone I love, someone who loves me.” Bringing Catherine’s hands up to his mouth, he kissed her wrists where her pulse seemed to thud crazily. “Catherine, my Artemis, my heart, I love you more than I ever thought was possible. Though I have proven myself eminently stupid, will you have me, idiocy and all? May I have the privilege of your support and companionship for the rest of our days?”

Pulling her hand free of Theodore’s grasp, she cupped his cheek. “Well, someone must take you in hand. I suppose since I love you beyond reason, I must commit my days to your care.”

With a surge of energy, Theodore pulled her to his chest and buried his face in her hair. His life had gone from devastating to delightful so quickly that it was making his head spin, but he did not care. Pulling back, he went to kiss Catherine but froze at the sound of a throat clearing.

He had completely forgotten that Lambert was sitting in a chair in the corner. Looking over, he saw her glance over the edge of her book at him, an eyebrow raised. Convinced that he was blushing, he gazed into Catherine's eyes, which were crinkling with amusement. “Do you suppose we could sit on the settee together and talk?”

“Of course.” Catherine stood with his assistance and moved with him to the settee facing the fire. “So, what have you done since we so sadly parted ways?”

“I have done many things, but the first thing I did after I realized what a great dunderhead I had been was write your mother. I wrote to her about my error and she sent me a letter in return. You will appreciate its message, I think.” Taking the letter out of his coat pocket, he presented it to Catherine. She took it with ease and opened it to read it with a smile on her face.

Theodore,

It pains me to know that your mother's manipulation has caused you suffering, and I wish it wasn't so. I would never wish that pain on you or anyone. For your mother to do this at a time when you were grieving, your dear brother is beyond the bounds. I trust that you will handle the situation with her in a way that demonstrates both firmness and kindness. Do not let her dictate your life. Find your own way to be happy.

I know how difficult it is for you to have the earldom and its responsibilities thrust upon you. Your place in the world and what you should do may be unclear, but trust that I have confidence in your judgment. You survived years at war and saw to your men. You have proven you know how to take care of people. The scale of an estate is irrelevant when considering the fundamental truth that it is made up of individuals who require attention and care.

Among my daughters, Kitty has displayed the most noticeable growth. She spent most of her life cowering under her father's shadow, but once she stepped out into the light, she found the strength to flourish. She will never go back to living in the darkness again. Society will never shape her to fit its expectations. The birth of my son may have heightened my emotions, but my belief in my daughter's abilities remains steadfast. You need never worry that she would wilt under the pressure of being your countess.

All that being said, I am sure that your quarrel with my daughter probably concerns you the most. I have to admit, you've really gotten yourself into a mess this time. While I know you are an honorable gentleman with a good heart, you have made mistakes. Now that you understand as much, you must apologize to my daughter post haste.

Dear boy, happiness is fleeting, and we only have a limited number of opportunities to seize it. Don't let those chances slip away by failing to make an effort. I would love to call you son, but that will only happen if you get off your backside and do something about breaking my daughter's heart.

Your possible Mother,

Fanny

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