Page 86 of Filthy Secret

I almost laugh. Smiling, I clear my throat, then crouch down in front of him. I honestly don’t even know if we have a kids’ arcade here, but I’m sure there’s one somewhere, maybe Tyler or Longview, if Pineville doesn’t have one.

“Have you played games at an arcade before?” I ask.

He tilts his head to the side, jutting his chin out as if he’s truly contemplating if he’s been to an arcade before. Then he nods his head once, leans forward, and rests his forehead against mine as he lifts his hands and cups my cheeks.

I’m not sure what to do, so I stay completely still and just breathe, waiting for his next move. “I have only been once,” he whispers. “And I was just a kid.”

I gently wrap my fingers around his wrists before I murmur. “Then that’s what we’ll do today.”

“I’m ready.”

We release one another, and I take a step backward. I brought a pickup for the weekend from the clubhouse, knowing that Ryan probably wouldn’t want me to cart Adam around on the back of my bike. Although, that doesn’t mean I won’t take him for a ride at some point before Sunday evening. I assuredly will do just that.

Thrusting my hand into the pocket of my jeans, I produce the truck keys and turn toward the door. Before I can even take a single step, I feel little fingers wrap around my hand. They squeeze, and I look down at our connection before my gaze slides to his face.

“Mom says when I go outside, I have to hold a hand.”

My heart fucking squeezes because Ryan would say that. Goddamn, she’s a great fucking mom. And everything I’ve discovered and witnessed over the past few weeks, it’s clear to me that she did the right thing by leaving me when she did.

Even if she didn’t know she was pregnant at the time, even if it pissed me off more than anything else in the fucking world. It was the right thing to have happened. Call it divine intervention, whatever the fuck, but this kid would not have turned out this well if she had stayed. I know it deep to my bones.

“Let’s go, buddy.”

CHAPTER

THIRTY-THREE

ATOMIC

The day is beyond anything I’ve ever expected it could be. Pineville does have an arcade, and while it’s nothing special, you would think I took this kid to Disneyland. I watch as he runs around, playing any and every game he can. I’ve loaded money on his game card at least five times, we’ve had a shitty lunch, and when it’s close to dinnertime, I can tell he’s running on complete fumes.

“Want to get a pizza and go home?” I ask as he weakly throws a basketball, trying to make the basket. He’s exhausted.

“Pizza?” he asks. “Can we get some desserts?”

I know what he’s asking. I should tell him no, because I’m sure Ryan is at the bakery, and I don’t know what the fuck it says about me, but I want her to come to me. I’m a dick. I know that. But she’s also stubborn as fuck.

“Sure, we can,” I mutter.

Adam takes my hand as we walk through the arcade, heading outside. I grip him, loving the way it feels when he holds my hand. He’s perfection. He’s my baby, and I didn’t think I ever wanted this, but now I can’t imagine living life without it—without him.

It doesn’t take us long to drive to the bakery. I choose to go there first, knowing that if I go to the pizza place, our food will just get cold. I’m honestly hoping that I can get Ryan to come back with us.

Where she fucking belongs.

Nash gave me unsolicited advice of sorts, but he wasn’t wrong. Ryan is special. She’s mine. Always has been, and I don’t want to let her go. I shouldn’t have to. I want to have a fulfilling life with her. I want to make more babies with her.

I need to let the bullshit with Ellen, the contract, and that pimp go. She was young, she was terrified, and I can’t say what I would have done if I were in her shoes. Maybe I would have signed some shit to get that pimp out of my hair, to buy my sister some more time.

Fuck if I know.

Downtown is starting to fizzle out traffic-wise because it’s late in the evening, but thankfully, I know the owner of the bakery, and she’ll stay open for me. Parking in front, I glance through the window, scanning the front counter to see if Ryan is there.

I don’t see her.

Sighing, I open the door and jump out of the seat before walking around the back of the pickup to open the passenger door to let Adam out. He jumps down, takes my hand, and together, we make our way toward the front door of the shop.

Tugging the front door open, I hear the bell ring above me as Adam runs straight for the bakery case. I watch him for a moment, taking in all that is a five-year-old. He’s got so much fucking energy.

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