Page 8 of First Touch

This time I laugh out loud. “Okay, deal.”

There’s a healthy pause, making me wonder what’s going on that he felt the need to call. He’s a pretty stone-cold guy, doesn’t let much affect him. As I’ve been doing this undercover assignment, I’ve channeled Nathan’s grumpy demeanor to give off my “I hate the world” vibe and it’s worked like a charm.

“I decided to re-enlist,” he says, surprising me. I selfishly hoped he would, I wanted my partner back, but I’d never told him as much. I never wanted him to feel swayed because of my lonely ass.

“Wow. That’s great, man.” I know how bad his mental health got toward the end of his last year, and I know how much Callie helped him after he met her. I’m thankful that he has someone like her in his life, he deserves it. Hell, I always joke that she’s too good for him, but I’m honestly just jealous that he found someone.

I’ve always been missing that connection with someone. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up without a family and I never learned the basic skills to form a relationship, or if the risk of losing someone else never seemed worth it. After the hand I’ve been dealt it seems useless to try.

I learned a long time ago that hoping for anyone to come in and change your life was wasteful thinking. Foster families were hard to come by. An adoptive family was even more unheard of.

If they did place me somewhere, it was always temporary and almost always worse than the group home I was usually in. So, I stopped getting my hopes up. I stopped wishing for my circumstances to change. I waited until I was old enough to walk into the army recruiting office and made the first decision in my life that was totally mine.

The army became my home, my life’s plan. For some, it might seem small, but it was the better alternative for me when I saw most of the other teenagers in the group home go from one prison to another when they turned 18.

“I talked to someone at the local base and they’re looking to fill a few spots in their Criminal Investigation Division. I’m not interested in the undercover work, I don’t want to leave Callie for days or weeks on end, but they said they need guys in all capacities with our security clearance.

“I mentioned that I knew a guy who needed to get the hell out of Texas and they said you could transfer here, permanently. As long as you don’t mind the possibility of working with me again,” he adds the last part for good measure, knowing I wouldn’t fucking mind.

He knows how much I hate the Texas heat. I’ve been complaining about it for years. He also knows how alone I am now that he lives here in North Carolina.

“I’ll think about it, man. Thanks for looking out for me.” I can’t gather the energy to throw a friendly jab at him like I normally would. I’m too glad that he’s the one person in my life that I can count on to stick around.

I pace the floor of my subpar motel room. The New Hope Inn was the only accommodation available in this town, making me feel even less at home than I would almost anywhere else. Plain white bedding, beige walls, tan curtains. It’s not terrible, but I understand why they have such a hard time keeping people undercover. Living out of a bag sucks. The monotony sucks.

We end our phone call with a promise to get together as soon as we can. The small spark of joy that my friend’s call gave me starts to fizzle as soon as I return to my hard-as-a-rock desk chair, my laptop that looks like a fucking cinder block, and the cold microwave meal that I’ve left untouched.

I tip my head back, peering through the gap in the curtains to look at the sky. After a few seconds, the clouds separate, sending a stream of light into the room. It’s not even close, but it reminds me of the moment I saw Sunshine smile.

Chapter Five

Thea

Ican do this. I’m a grown woman. I can make this phone call. I take a deep breath, blowing all the air back out of my mouth before I hit the call button. As soon as he answers I dive into my carefully thought-out spiel.

“Hi, Kyle. It’s Thea. I was calling to let you know that I can no longer afford your services. Thank you for your hard work, but I will not be going forward with my bathroom renovations at this time. If I have any future projects, I will consider reaching back out.” A total lie, but it felt necessary to add some cushion to my figurative breakup with my contractor. Not that I should even call him that when he’s terrible at his job.

“But, the job’s not done.” He huffs.

“Um. I know, but I can’t afford to pay you anymore. So you’ll have to stop working, and I’ll need my house key back.” I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath prepping for his reaction. God, why can’t I just avoid all confrontations for the rest of my life?

The line clicks dead. Okay… Not what I expected. Now what?

I store my phone away in one of the drawers inside the island, ignoring my problems for the moment.

“Did you do it?” Latisha asks as she joins me behind the counter. She urged me to make my call here while I was at work to lean on her for emotional support if I needed to. I can’t decide if it worked or not.

“Um, yeah. Kind of,” I tell her as I shake my hair out from the scrunchy I had it in, letting all my hair fall down my back.

“Kind of?” She asks for clarification, giving me the ‘mom’ look.

“I told him he was fired, but then he hung up on me.” I use the sleeve of my sweater to clean my glasses, avoiding her eyes.

“You just let me know if he gives you any more trouble. I’ll handle it,” she tells me. I have no doubt either, she’s very protective of me and all of her workers here. I wish I had just an ounce of her confidence.

“Thanks, Latisha. You know I love you.” I blow her a kiss as I leave the counter to set up for story time, leaving my real-world problems behind.

It isn’t long after I get my curtain backdrop set up that the kids start rolling in. They each take turns excitedly hugging me as if they didn’t just see me last week. I can’t help but to reciprocate their infectiousness.

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