Page 62 of First Touch

By the time we get back to the library to get my car, the sun is low in the sky.

“Should there be anyone here right now?” He asks, looking toward the other side of the parking lot. I follow his gaze, noticing only one other car.

“No, Latisha usually leaves right at seven. She’s always the last one.” His eyes are locked on the car. “That’s not her car,” I add.

“Stay here,” he tells me as he makes his way over to it, but a sudden chill down my spine makes my feet move against his wishes.

I didn’t want to be by myself but I should’ve listened to him. At the same time as I hear him whisper “fuck” under his breath, I see Dennis laying on the ground next to his car, bloody and beaten.

“Oh my God.” I cover my mouth so I don’t scream just as Jesse whips his head around to look at me.

“Call 911, ask for Sheriff Malec.” When I stand there completely frozen, he says it again, harsher, making me jump. “Thea. Call 911.”

I do as he says, relaying the information over to the dispatcher while he checks for signs of life. Seeing Dennis that way is breaking my heart so I keep my back turned. I know one more glance will make me fall apart. Who would do this?

“Is he breathing?” I repeat the dispatcher’s question out loud to Jesse, keeping my eyes glued to the brick facade of the library.

“Barely.” His voice is void of emotion, hardly sounding like himself.

The next few hours are a blur of flashing lights and emergency vehicles, repeating the story three times to three different deputies. All while Jesse stands off to the side speaking to the Sheriff.

I know who he is, I voted for him after Nathan told me he was one of the good guys. He’s young like Jesse and Nathan, but taller and more rigid. His light brown hair is cropped on the sides, making him look serious and authoritative.

By the time it’s all over, I’m a bundle of nerves. Poor Dennis was transported to the hospital, but no one could tell me his condition. I’m worried about him, I’m concerned about why it happened, and I’m terrified that it happened here at the library. This is supposed to be a safe place. My safe place.

“Time to go.” I nearly jump out of my skin when Jesse speaks up from behind me.

“Dammit, Jesse,” I screech, clutching my heart.

“Shh, Thea. It’s Jay here.”

His reminder wasn’t malicious, but my nerves are frayed and I snap. “Don’t sneak up on me. I’ve been scared to death standing out here and talking to all these strange men. Whoever you are right now, I don’t care.”

I jump in my car, peeling out of the parking lot before I let him have a word in. By the time I pull up to the curb in front of my house, I’m crumbling.

My forehead falls against my steering wheel and the tears that have been threatening to fall for hours flow free.

I cry for Dennis and I cry because I’m rattled. I cry because I still don’t have control of my emotions when anything upsetting happens. I cry because I bit Jesse’s head off and I shouldn’t have.

Minutes tick by before the tears slow down enough that I can catch my breath. I should go back and apologize to him, but I can’t stomach the thought of being back there just yet. The last thing he needs is to walk on eggshells around me because I can’t handle myself.

A sob breaks free just thinking about going back to the scene of the crime. I know there are evil people in the world, but how could someone hurt Dennis so badly and just leave him? It’s inhumane.

After wiping the moisture from my face with the sleeves of my sweater, I gather my things with shaky limbs to go inside. As soon as I round my car, I see him. Sitting on my porch steps, waiting for me. I never even heard his truck pull up behind mine.

He’s here even after I snapped at him. I should have known he’d follow me home anyway. It makes me want to weep again.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, my tears coming back in a fresh wave. He squeezes his eyes shut, grasping his hair in his hands.

“Don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry for not staying with you when the cops talked to you, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He raises his hands slightly, reaching for me, but pulls back once he realizes. He pats the spot next to him instead with a pleading look.

“All of this is my fault. Making you play along with this stupid character that I have to be, not protecting Dennis. It’s all my fault.” He hangs his head in his hands in defeat.

I sit next to him, gently resting my head on his shoulder. It’s not easy at first, but after a minute I’m able to relax and lean into it. Providing comfort in this small way feels huge, so I focus on it. My minor accomplishment can’t drown out the bad that happened this evening, but at least I can show him that I’m here for him.

“It’s not your fault. You can’t control what happened, we weren’t even there,” I whisper against his shoulder, feeling him shake his head. His whole body is radiating with tension.

“I want to stay here with you more than anything, but I need to go take care of some work stuff. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Stay inside the rest of the night, okay?” He asks with desperation.

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