Page 36 of First Touch

“Lunch. You haven’t eaten today.”

“I usually eat on my lunch break.”

“Her break was an hour ago and she skipped it,” Latisha chimes in from her side of the desk. Traitor.

“I bought a couple of things, not sure what you like.” He takes out two sandwiches, a lettuce wrap, two bags of chips, and a cup of mac n cheese.

“This is really nice. Thank you.” I know I’ve never blushed harder than at this moment. No one has ever bought me lunch or paid attention to when I ate. Besides Latisha, apparently.

I take a sandwich and chips, thanking him again. Do I invite him to eat with me? Does he want to? I’m not used to this at all. I don’t know the proper protocol.

“I’ve got plenty,” he talks over my shoulder to Latisha. “Take something for yourself.” Suck up.

“Oh thank you, sweetie. You are too kind.” She grabs the lettuce wrap, winking at him.

“Careful, she will out-charm you,” I warn him.

“So, you think I’m charming?”

I roll my eyes but can’t quite smother my smile.

“Enjoy your lunch, Sunshine.” He throws me his crooked smile before walking back to his usual table. He drops the last sandwich on the tabletop before taking the final items over to one of our other regulars sitting in the corner at a computer.

He’s an older man, a local around here who everyone knows or has a story about. His size and childlike demeanor can be hard to miss, but he’s a gentle giant. Sometimes he likes to sit in and listen to story time with the kids, but most of the time he likes to play solitaire on the computers. Though he never wins on his own. I’ve helped him a few times.

I don’t know how Jesse knew to approach him, but the interaction is simple and quiet. Earl shakes Jesse’s hand, thanking him wholeheartedly, both of them smiling ear to ear. I can’t help but stare.

How am I supposed to stop myself from falling head over heels for this man?

Chapter Seventeen

Jesse

Iknew that revealing my real identity meant that she might not forgive me. She might’ve chosen to never see me again.

When I considered that the consequences of my lies meant never being at the receiving end of her smile again, it made me sick. I never want to go back to a life that doesn’t have her a part of it. I can’t. The thought of that motivated me enough to pursue her even while she was still hesitant about me.

How much I care about her hit me like a ton of bricks, but I’m not backing down. Being in her presence is more fulfilling than anything that I’ve ever experienced and I don’t want to lose her.

So, I just keep showing up. I hang out at the library every day, bring her lunch when I know she hasn’t eaten, and walk her to her car after she clocks out. I don’t push anything else.

I don’t ask her what she’s thinking, or if she’s forgiven me. I just keep showing up. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with her anyway.

The second day was when I realized that she was avoiding saying my name. She doesn’t call me Jay or Jesse, instead avoiding both altogether like she isn’t sure what to use.

On the third day, I considered holding her hand, maybe reaching for it in the parking lot before she got in her car, but I decided against it. She stays so wrapped up in the oversized sweaters that it’s like a physical ‘do not touch me’ sign. She has reservations about me, I get it.

By the time Friday rolls around, I build the courage to ask about her schedule for the weekend, hoping she won’t be mad if I bring up the bar.

The last time we talked about it, she was angry when I told her that she needed to quit. My head was a mess then, and even though I stand by my stance, if she wants to work there then I’ll be there for her too.

“Are you going to be mad if I keep showing up while you work?” I ask, genuinely curious since she hasn’t said anything about my presence at the library this week.

I’ve still been hanging around Curtis and the other guys at night, only managing to get a few hours of sleep before spending my day scouring the nonfiction section with heavy eyes.

Researching extremist groups, domestic terrorism, and the effects of PTSD on veterans isn’t exactly exciting material. I’ve learned a lot firsthand and on the job these past 12 years in the military but it never hurts to double down on the literature. Any information that will help me solve this case quicker, the better.

“I haven’t minded seeing you every day.” She blushes, the pinkness of her cheeks making me itch to reach for her. To hold her. Kiss her.

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