Page 28 of First Touch

“Jay, huh?’ Jameson turns to eye me up and down. No pun intended. “Where are you from, boy?” It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes at his condescending tone.

“Texas, sir.” I hold my hand out to shake his. “Thanks for the work.”

He nods his head, taking a moment to make a decision about me. I must’ve passed, because he finally grabs my hand to shake it, offering my pay from his other hand.

“Just stick with Curtis here and we’ll keep you workin’.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” We make our exit, allowing the few guys behind us to approach Jameson. Dawn illuminates the sky as we walk through the parking lot.

“That was good, man. Really good. He liked you.” Curtis’ excited chatter barely hits my ears as I make a mental note of all I learned about Jameson, how he looks, and how people treat him. This has to be our group leader.

“Let’s celebrate. Drinks at Sunny’s later!” He points at me as he walks away, “Maybe we’ll get to see that hot bartender again.”

All I do is laugh and wave, while actively dying inside thinking about Thea and everything that I’ve screwed up with her.

I know it’s a bad idea, but I’m aching to see her again. I should be thrilled that I’m making progress on this undercover case, but I honestly couldn’t care less. For the first time in life, work only feels like… work.

The army has always been my life. Being in the Special Forces felt like my calling until it didn’t. Transferring to Criminal Investigations seemed like an incredible opportunity. Now, it feels like any other job.

Thea draws me in on a level that I’ve never experienced before.

She opened up to me about her life and I let her. She’s going to hate me when she finds out that I’m a fraud, all because of my fucking alter ego.

I’m going to tell her the truth. I need to. Just not yet. I’ll get through this op. I’ll keep my distance until the investigation is over, then I’ll plead for her to understand why I did it.

I’ll have to worry about Nathan killing me later.

* * *

I’m dragging my feet by the time I get to the bar. While Curtis slept all day, energizing up for a Saturday night drinking, I was on the phone with my command, doing research, and writing reports. My head is pounding, begging me to get some sleep, but I try to push through.

The moment my feet enter through the doors, I see her long blonde hair. It’s straight again and her glasses are long gone.

It’s so clear to me now how fake the persona she’s putting on is. I prefer the authentic version, but she’s breathtaking either way. Curtis waves me over to the bar, making me groan.

I don’t want Curtis, Derrick, and Mitch to know how familiar I am with Thea, or how interested I am in her. I don’t want them to even look in her direction. If they are involved with Jameson’s extremist group, I don’t want her on their radar when shit hits the fan.

The group of investigators I work with confirmed that Jameson, Thomas Jameson, was dishonorably discharged from the military. He was never in Afghanistan and never injured in combat. He fell off a tank during a training exercise and broke his femur then got addicted to Oxycontin.

They kicked him out after he got high and broke into a sergeant’s house on base. He crawled into bed with his wife but was too out of his mind to realize the sergeant was also in the bed. He got the shit beat out of him.

As far as they are aware, there is no documented injury to his eye. I suspect the eye patch is all for show since playing on people’s sympathy will help his cause.

I can’t wait to break the news to Curtis that the badass Jameson is a phony, but not tonight. Tonight I have to pretend to be enjoying these losers’ company. I have to ignore Thea even though it kills me and I have got to get some sleep at some point.

“For you?” Her sweet voice breaks into my internal struggle and I have to tear my eyes from the TV that I’m staring blankly at.

It takes every ounce of energy that I have left to maintain my neutrality towards her. I focus on the hurt I see in her eyes, letting it eat at me. Accepting that I’m a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.

It keeps me from being able to form a smile, but I’m not sure if it can erase the longing written all over my face.

She’s too good for me. Too good to be lied to. The light that radiates from her shouldn’t be dimmed by my dumb ass. All because I can’t stay away from her when I should stay the hell away from her.

This self-loathing is putting me in a dark place. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

By the time I get back to the group playing darts, I don’t have the energy to fake wanting to be here. I stand off to the side, nursing my non-alcoholic beer, and hoping that my splitting headache will subside on its own eventually.

Her voice reaches me first. Then the panic. I look over my shoulder, sighting in on some guy locked onto Thea’s wrist.

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