Page 84 of ‘Til You Came Along

I remember when she did that at the cemetery, when she realized it was my father that was standing there with us. I remember when the realization hit her eyes. She grew fearful and angry. I remember how she fought for me and tried to protect me. That meant so much to me in that moment. I was worried she would see me differently, that she would suddenly realize how badly she was slumming it with me. But she didn’t. She held my hand and didn’t let go. She fought for me, like she always had.

“He started mouthing off, being disrespectful. He was provoking me and I just snapped. Years and years of built-up anger and resentment, unleashed at a terrible time and in a terrible way,” I say sadly.

“I’m sorry,” She says in a small voice.

“But then the police dragged him away after your father covered for me. That mortified me too,” I swallow, shaking my head back and forth on the pillow. “And…I left you.” She stays silent, waiting.

“I walked away, because I couldn’t stand the thought of dragging you down anymore,” I say. “Every step that I took away from you was agonizing. I knew I should just turn around and go back to you, but I was so ashamed, Mads.” She scoots closer to hold my face in her hands. Just like she did when I had my hands around my fathers’ neck. “I…I ignored your texts and calls for two days.” She frowns at that, sad. “I’m sorry. I was just so lost, and I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. I hadn’t felt that anger in such a long time, since before you.”

She scoots closer to hold my face in her hands. Just like she did when I had my hands around my fathers’

“What made you come back?” She whispers.

“You.” I reply as I reach out a hand to grab the framed note on my nightstand. I give it to her and she looks at it, the note she left on my window. The note that brought me out of the darkness.

She looks at it wordlessly for what seems like ages. She eventually sits up. Her mouth parts and she looks confused…thoughtful. She looks from the frame and then down to me. I am still laying down, looking up at her.

“I remember…” She says.

THIRTY-NINE

MADELINE, THEN

“I think I know what I want to do after college,” He says. We only slept a few hours before my alarm woke us up.

I shoot a quick text to my parents and Ana telling them that Elliot came home safe and I will fill them in later.I am laying across his chest, my head over his heart. His fingers are tracing my heart tattoo over and over.

“Oh?” I ask.

“I think I want to be a social worker. I want to help kids who are stuck in bad homes, like I was. Help them find a better life. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a Madeline Hart,” He says softly. I turn around to look at him, my eyes fill with tears.

“I think you would be incredible at that. Actually, I know you will be.” I smile; my heart warms. He kisses my forehead.

“You are such an incredible man, Elliot. It’s me that doesn’t deserve you,” I whisper. He looks at me in disbelief, almost anger.

“Don’t ever say that Madeline. That’s not true,” He says seriously.

“I disagree,” I insist, smiling. He narrows his eyes.

“You’re delusional,” He says, frowning.

“Maybe about other things, but not about this. I had loving and caring parents who raised me to be loving and caring. They taught me kindness and compassion. I’ve never known anything different,” I say, reaching up to stroke his face with my fingers. “Your parents failed you, in so many ways. They didn’t love you the way a child needs and deserves. But even after you grew up with darkness and anger and violence, you became an incredible man who loves and cares so deeply. That’s amazing, Elliot.”

He shakes his head in denial.

“I’m serious. It would have been so easy to follow in your parents’ footsteps and turn to substance abuse to numb the pain. So many have done that. So many people that struggle with addiction learned it from family members. But you wanted more for yourself. You became a better man. That is incredibly commendable.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “It was all for you, Mads.” I hug him and he holds me close for a while before someone starts banging on my bedroom door.

“Ana.” I mutter. “You better run.” He sighs as he gets up and pulls some clothes on. I do the same before opening the door.

Ana marches in and stalks towards Elliot and shoves at his chest. Then she grabs his arms and brings him in for a hug. “Don’t ever do that again, pendejo.”

‘I’m sorry, Ana. Truly,” He whispers, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She pushes away from him, giving him one of her looks before she hugs me and walks out of the room.

“I’d like to go to Penbrooke today, talk to your parents. Apologize to them,” He tells me and I nod, smiling.

“You don’t need to apologize to them, but I know they would love to see you.”

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