Page 62 of A Touch of Chaos

“Put the gloves on,” Lilaia snapped.

He glared at his maenad. He was never going to forgive her or Naia when this was over. Why couldn’t he have been the nurse? He could hold a leg.

Gods fucking dammit.

He walked over to the table and put the gloves on. They were long and powder blue. Then he turned to face Phaedra and…oh my fucking gods.

Suddenly, he understood crowning.

This looked like torture. It had to be something Hades had dreamed up in his demented head, because there was no way a head was coming out ofthat.

Phaedra sobbed, and Dionysus met her dark-eyed gaze, so like Ariadne’s.

“I can’t do this,” she said, gasping for breath. “I can’t.”

Her body shook.

“You can,” said Lilaia, holding her hand tighter.

“I can’t,” Phaedra said.

“You’re doing great,” said the nurse. “Just a little while longer.”

“Tell her it’s going to be okay, Doctor,” Lilaia said, a threatening edge to her voice.

“It isn’t,” said Phaedra. “You don’t understand. My husband…”

Suddenly she was crying harder and breathing faster, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

For a moment, Dionysus felt panicked, but then he remembered one thing he’d learned about women in labor—and that was how they were supposed to breathe.

“Hee-hee-hooooo,” he started. “Hee-hee-hooooo.”

He kept going even when he noticed Lilaia glaring at him and the other nurse staring at him in horror, but then Phaedra joined in, following his lead.

Before long, they were all breathing in tandem, and when Phaedra was calm again, Dionysus looked down between her legs, and his breaths dissolved into a horrified scream.

“Oh my gods,” he yelled.

“What? What?” Phaedra cried.

“Nothing,” Lilaia said quickly. “The baby’s almost out. Push!”

Phaedra bore down, and then the head was suddenly out, and Dionysus’s hands were in the air.

“Guide the head!” the nurse snapped.

“How the fuck do I guide the head?” he demanded. The baby was face down. What if he hurt it by grabbing it?

“Are you insane?” the nurse snapped. “Just guide the head out!”

“If you sayguide the headone more time,” Dionysus hissed.

“Hold the head!” she yelled.

Dionysus held the head.

“Suction, Doctor! Suction!”

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