Page 33 of A Touch of Chaos

“Drinking and fucking don’t count,” said the god.

“You’re one to talk,” Hades countered. “Allyoudo is drink and fuck.”

“That’s notallI do,” Hermes said. “I play bridge once a week at the library.”

“What the fuck is bridge?” Hades asked.

“You own a gambling den and don’t know what bridge is? Gods, you’re reallyold.”

“I have hobbies, Hermes. I ride horses and play cards, and I dream about how to torture you on a regular basis.”

The god’s brows perked. “You dream about me?”

Hades said nothing.

“And…um…how exactly do you torture me? In these dreams.”

“Not pleasantly,” said Hades.

“List them out, Hades,” Hermes said.

There was a change in his tone, something a little more aggressive, almost as if he were giving a command.

For a moment, Hades resisted. He did not like taking orders, but if Hermes wanted to hear all the ways he’d earned his wrath, then so be it.

“I have considered castration, but I think you’d find that too pleasant,” said Hades.

The god pursed his lips and then shrugged. “Fair.”

“I had to nix anything that requires restraint too.”

“Unfair,” said the god.

“I could send you into the Forest of Despair, but it’s likely your greatest fear is a life with only one sexual partner.”

“Atragedy,” Hermes said.

“Which means I’d take a different approach.”

“You really have thought about this,” said Hermes.

“First, I’d curse you to always appear homely to any potential lover.”

Hermes gasped.

“Then, I would ensure you never find your rhythm again. That applies to dancing and sex.”

“Youwouldn’t,” Hermes said.

“The sight of your penis would make everyone gag.”

“You beast!”

“Those aren’t even my favorites,” said Hades with a smirk. “My favorite is that every television series you start never finishes.”

“No!” Hermes bellowed. “It is true what they say. You are a cruel god.”

Hades shrugged. “You asked.”

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