Page 152 of A Touch of Chaos

“What do you mean youcan’t?” Dionysus snarled.

“They don’t work like that. You have to learn how to balance, then you just glide. It’s like skating.”

“I don’t have time to learn how to fucking skate!”

“I suppose you don’t have to,” said Hermes. “You can just fly all the way there like that.”

Dionysus gritted his teeth.

“Come on, big boy. Just treat it like a sit-up. Once you are upright, your weight will help you land.”

“Treat it like a sit-up,” Dionysus mocked, yet he tried, tightening his abs and swinging up. The first time, he only made it halfway, the second a little farther. His third attempt had him doing a complete flip.

“Fuck!”

“You almost had it,” said Hermes.

“I know I almost had it, Hermes! I don’t need your commentary!”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m just trying to be helpful.”

“Well, don’t.”

“Fine. Yousuckat this.”

Dionysus’s frustration grew. For a moment, he just hung there and ground his teeth so hard his jaw hurt.

Then he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Hermes.”

There was a long beat of silence.

“You’ve got this, Dionysus.”

The god nodded and tried again. He fisted his hands, tightened his core, and swung. Once he was upright, he held out his arms for balance. His legs felt wobbly, and his whole body seemed to vibrate with the beat of the winged sandals, but he was on his feet.

“Yes!” he hissed before he lost his balance and fell again. “Fuck. I am done!”

Dionysus used his magic to unlace himself from the sandals. When he did, he crashed to the ground, not realizing that he was no longer positioned over the bed.

“Stupid fucking sandals,” he muttered as he got to his feet and snatched them from the air where they were still fluttering. “How do you make them stop…flying?”

As soon as the words were out of Dionysus’s mouth, the wings stopped flapping.

“Just like that,” said Hermes.

Dionysus glared. “You mean you can tell them to stop flying but you can’t tell them to put me on my feet?”

“Yes,” said Hermes.

“I hate you.”

“Don’t hate me. I’m just the messenger.” Hermes paused and chuckled. “Get it? Because I am the Messenger of the Gods.”

Dionysus glared.

Then he vanished, but not before Hermes shouted after him. “Wait! Take me back to the Underworld!”

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