Page 137 of A Touch of Chaos

“Liar,” Hermes said and then collapsed to the bed. “I am assuming you are not here to ravish me, so what do you want? I was sleeping so well.”

“It certainly didn’t sound that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could hear you snoring from my chambers.”

“I do not snore!”

“Oh, you most certainly do. Loudly. It shook the very ground beneath my feet.”

Hermes glared. “I hate you.”

Hades chuckled.

“If I am snoring, it’s your fault. This bed is like a fucking rock. Sephy’s going to have back problems if she sleeps here.”

“The bed is perfectly comfortable,” Hades said. “And you are overly concerned for my wife.”

“Of course I am. She has to deal with you.”

Hades rolled his eyes.

“I need you to summon Ilias and Apollo within the hour.”

“No,” Hermes said.

Hades lifted a brow. “No?”

“What aboutI have no powersdon’t you understand?”

“You have no power, but you are a divine messenger and part of this war.”

“Why can’tyousummon them?”

“I have other matters to attend to,” he said.

“I hope it’s trimming that gods-awful beard.”

That was exactly the matter at hand. He also wanted to bathe. There were just some things glamour couldn’t replace.

“Even if that is the case—and it should be the case—you can summon Ilias and Apollo and shave faster than I can leave the Underworld.”

There was a brief moment of silence, and then Hades spoke. “Fine. I suppose I can just…send an email.”

Hermes gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

Hades shrugged. “You have given me no choice.”

“After all I’ve done,” Hermes said, throwing off his blanket. He jumped from the bed and started searching the floor for something. Hades hoped it was clothes.

“If you are still referring to Ares’s island—”

“I’m talking about being your best friend!” Hermes said. “But best friends don’t use their archenemy, do they? No. You know what’s so fucking stupid about email? There are faster ways to communicate! Phones! You could just text! But you are so old, you don’t even know that!”

Hades blinked slowly. “Are you finished?”

Hermes was still red in the face and breathing hard. “No,” he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, but he said nothing.

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