Page 36 of Forbidden Fiancé

“Whatever you’re thinking, just say it. There shouldn’t be any secrets between us. Does my money bother you?”

“It isn’t that. I think it’s wonderful for you. You’ve worked hard and deserve to have a life of luxury and relaxation.”

“Do you not feel that you deserve that, too? Do you not want the same thing?” I asked.

“I haven’t earned it. I just finished law school. It’s something I’ve thought about doing and worked towards my entire life. I haven’t known a time that I didn’t want to be a lawyer.”

“So, you will be one.”

“It’s not going to be that easy,” Natalie said.

I turned and faced her, giving my undivided attention. I wanted her to know that her concerns were my concerns. Whatever issues she had; we would figure them out together.

“Why did you want to become a lawyer? I don’t think it was because you saw it on television and thought it would be cool.”

“Well, that too, but no. It’s a more personal reason,” she said and held my gaze.

I reached over and took her hands in mine. “Whatever it is, tell me. I want to know everything about you. The good, the bad, the ugly.”

“Thank you,” she said and squeezed my hand back. “I don’t want your pity.”

“It isn’t pity. Tell me.”

“My father was at the liquor store near our house one night, getting a lottery ticket. He was convinced that he was going to make it rich one day and he couldn’t think of an easier way than winning the lottery. He always thought he had the best luck, forget the fact that he never won anything in his life, and had difficulty keeping a job. He was such an optimistic. He was convinced it was going to happen. And the only way to win was to play.”

“He has a point.” Though I could tell that wasn’t how it had happened to her or her father.

“It was that optimism that got him killed. He was coming back from buying the stupid lottery ticket when he was gunned down on the street. It was just some drive-by shooting and he got caught in the cross hairs. He was dead before he even hit the ground. And damn if he wasn’t still holding that fucking lottery ticket in his hand,” Natalie made a fist as if she was holding the lottery ticket. She looked away from me but I could still see the tears forming in her eyes.

“Natalie. I’m so sorry,” I squeezed her hands again. I wanted to pull her into my arms. I wanted to go back in time and take away her pain. I wanted to find a way so that she never felt heartache. I couldn’t do any of those. Instead, I sat and held her hands as she continued.

“They found the guys who did the shooting. My mom became obsessed with making sure they went to jail. She loved my father so much and I think she needed to feel like she was doing something.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. I was barely ten when he died and not sure of everything. I think they got off on some sort of technicality. All I knew was that they didn’t see any jail time and my mother was devastated. She never got over it. The justice my mother was hoping to have never happened.

“She blamed the lawyer who tried the case. She thought he was too young, too busy, to do right by my father and the other victims. I have no idea if it was true or not, but it shaped my view on things.”

“So, you want to be a lawyer so that what happened to you never happens to anyone else,” I said

“Not what happened to me, but what happened to my mother. Getting justice wasn’t going to bring my father back, which was all that I wanted. She needed the men to be made accountable. She needed closure. She never got it. I can’t give it to her, but maybe I can for others.”

“And you can still do that,” I said.

“Are you going to be okay with that? Are you going to be fine with me working long hours, staying at the office? I would be talking to bad people. My life could be in danger. I wouldn’t be able to devote the time and energy you want me to have for you.”

“Who ever said I needed all your love and attention. I would like it, but I’m not going to demand it. I might be able to do that for you, but I will take any and all I can get from you. If I must share you with the world, then so be it.”

“You would be okay with that? I would have thought you would want me to be the traditional wife. Stay home, look after you, the kids, the house, have dinner ready for you when you get home.”

“All that sounds wonderful. But there was nothing that says that I can’t do that for you,” I stated.

“You would do that for me?”

“I would do anything for you. Your happiness is my happiness. Whatever you want, I want. If I can give it to you, then I will.”

“You would?” Natalie asked, seemingly shocked at my statement.

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