“That’s the problem Holly. I don’t have any photos. I’ve never seen a picture of the guy. He’s not even a social media friend or anything.”
Holly’s looking more stupified by the second. “Then how do you know you’re into him?” she asks, naturally.
“I don’t. I have no idea. All I said is, I have a thing, okay? A thing. I really don’t have any idea what that means,” I blurt out, beginning to get genuinely flustered.
“Okay…it’s okay,” Holly says in her most calming voice, placing her hands lovingly on my shoulders. “You don’t have to know what it is or why. I’m just happy to hear there’s some…thing going on in your heart again.”
I roll my eyes. “I didn’t say he was in my heart. For heaven’s sake, let’s not make a bigger thing than it probably is.” I press my fingers to my eyes, feeling embarrassed for sounding so damn difficult.
“You know Fiona,” Holly continues, “it’s okay to let someone into your heart again. It really is. But don’t go losing your head over someone you’ve never met…and don’t even know what he looks like. Remember the way Olga got burned meeting that guy from Minneapolis?”
I nod unwillingly. “Yes, I remember all about it. Don’t worry. I’m not gonna lose my head over any man, okay? I’ll be fine. Just…a little excitement never hurt me and I’m looking forward to meeting him. That’s all that matters. I’m sure he looks like an ogre, but he’s friendly and I look forward to meeting a friendly person. You happy now?”
“Okay then, go in peace,” Holly says with one of her pert little smirks, then forcefully hugs me before backing away from my car.
***
An entire seven days later, I still haven’t heard a peep out of Quade. He’s never like this. The man calls enough to make me crazy on an average week. But after the day I had at work, I’m anxious to run something by him…so I succumb to dialing.
“Cookie,” he answers with a slight hesitation I rarely hear in him.
“I thought you’d fallen off the face of the planet.”
“No…just had an extra busy week. What’s up?”
What’s up? Quade never addresses me so flippantly. “Uh…I need to talk shop. That’s what’s up.”
“Go ahead,” he responds with an insolent level of detachment.
“Uh…I will go ahead Quade. What I need to tell you is that…you know what, never mind. I don’t need your opinion to run my life. Have a nice weekend,” I belt out in a huff before abruptly hanging up.
Of course he calls me back within seconds. I knew he would, but that doesn’t make me any less pissed.
“Cookie, I’m sorry. I’m here for you…I just…have been processing some things lately. I’m very interested in what you have to say,” he ekes out in his most pathetic groveling voice.
I heave a couple audible breaths into my phone and then feel my calm begin to return. Whatever calm I even had today.
“Well Quade, she’s decided to hop her ass to London for a full month to take the most extravagant floral course anyone could ever ask for, is clueless as to how she’ll get that done, and expects to march back into my store and pick up exactly where we left off just like nothing ever happened. And that’s normal, of course, because every good little employee does that, right? Everyone feels entitled to globe trot and then return back to work, whenever, so they can better themselves as a person, right? I mean…I have absolutely nothing to be the least bit concerned over.”
“Whoa…slow down there Cookie. Who are we talking about here?”
“Oh you know who…Maxine. Who else? I told you she thinks she’s entitled.” As I feel the heat rising up my neck and face, I realize how full of unexpressed resentment I really was when Maxine gave me her news.
“Well…now…calm down and let’s think about this for a minute. You tell me she’s a real talent, and that you’d like to see her education furthered and even bring her to AFA to compete.”
“All true,” I mutter, not wanting to admit the stabilizing effect Quade’s words already have over me.
“So what’s the big deal? If she wants to go to the best school, and it happens to mean a month in London…the girls can handle that, right? You already said Laura was moping about her hours being cut since Maxine came along. Maybe this would help to keep her on board a little bit longer too. I really don’t see a huge problem here.”
“You’re right Quade. You’re so correct. See, I knew I could use your help with this one,” I say with a huge sigh. “And you know what…I’m happy for Maxine. And I’m glad she wants to reach higher than the rest, I really am. She’s a good kid with a bright future and I wanna edge her forward, not hold her back.”
“Kid huh? I thought you said she was older than the others.”
“Oh…she is. But she’s not like old. She’s still a kid to me.” I can almost detect some wistfulness when I speak of Max this way, like her spirit is bringing something youthful back to life inside me. I really do like Maxine.
“That’s my Cookie,” he responds, and I immediately feel my blood begin to boil again.
I’m nobody’s cookie. I’m nobody’s anything, except their boss.