Page 196 of Unleashed

I frown and wipe my face with the back of both hands. “I kick ass as a paralegal, and I will as a lawyer too. I have no problem defending or fighting for other people. But I’ll have to prove myself and fight my own demons every fucking day as an attorney because most see me as Rod, the office clown and loser. You don’t have that problem, being Finn Wilder, Richmond’s favorite daredevil.” Dickwad.

Wilder’s judgmental gaze travels my face for a third time, but he doesn’t have to call me Rod to treat me like a failure. “I’ve had to prove myself and fight my own demons in public, as you know,” he mutters with a sigh. “Aren’t you dating Tansy from Screaming Ink? I’m not helping you cheat,” he warns like he’s so virtuous and never dipped his bridge in another woman’s bay while spanning the James River.

“We’re friends.”

He puts his hands on his hips and nods at my chest. “You like Shinedown?”

I shrug in my wrinkled shirt. “They’ve grown on me.”

Wilder purses his lips, knowing I’m not wearing it for him. Wearing it makes me feel close to Simone. “I don’t know what the hell you think I can do. In case you missed it, I support Simone.”

“I just... Shit. What do I do? I threw Simone into the arms of fucking Archer Rhodes! He dated and dumped Rhonda years ago for money! She left because he’s back here. Who would you rather Simone be with? That asshole or this asshole?” I point at my chest, hoping he picks me, for fuck’s sake.

“What the hell?” Scowling, Wilder leans against the doorframe and folds his arms over his chest, showing off the barbed-wire tattoos encircling his biceps. “Simone is one of my best friends, Rodwell. I love her, and she kind of idolizes her big brother.” I avoid rolling my eyes because I can’t do this without Wilder’s help. “I can undoubtedly convince her to change her mind. But I won’t. Not until you prove to me you deserve another chance.”

I sniff, dejected, but hoping he’ll throw me a fucking bone. “I’ll do anything, but I have one more ask.”

He rolls his eyes with a scoff. “You’re treading, Rodwell.”

Nodding with a sigh, I check the driveway before turning back to him. “Please don’t tell Hadley or Simone. This stays between us. It’ll pressure or scare Simone away.”

Wilder glowers at me as he considers that. He then rolls his eyes and shoves his hand into his jeans hip pocket for his phone. I watch him find a number and put the phone to his ear, figuring he’s telling his wife that her BFF is a sniveling baby, or he’s calling Tesco to haul me off to jail for trespassing. Wilder looks at me as he says, “Hey. Guess who’s at my door, pleading for help because he fucked up my sister? No, Hadley or Simone don’t know he’s here. I’ll admit you were right, but I didn’t expect him to show up in tears.” With aching knees, I stand up and glare at Wilder’s dickish smirk. “I think it’s a colossal mistake, but you and I have a deal. Yeah, hang on.”

Wilder holds out his phone for me. “Someone wants to talk to you.” Seeing the name on his screen makes me second-guess my reason for not crashing my car into a fucking tree.

Dear Eden,

I’ve come full circle, or more like full tilt. It’s pretty pathetic when I need help from my arch enemy to navigate my broken relationship with his sister. Simone changed my life. Sometimes I wonder if it’s for better...or worse. Arguing or not, raw hunger and panicked desperation intensify when I’m not with Simone. She claims she fell for me at first sight, but my feelings for her have been a slow burn, morphing into one of those consuming backdrafts, minus Kurt Russell.

The thing is, I know I’m confused about Simone. I thought I was in love with Hadley. Maybe this is the same shit.

I’m screwed up. It’s a simple answer with no simple fix. And knowing that she’s having sex with another man while I threw a tantrum in front of her goddamn apartment cuts me bone deep. So I ran off and drunk-fucked another woman. Immature, yeah. Then I fucked her sober because I’m sad she’s leaving town. Go ahead and laugh about it. I’ll wait.

I’m friends with Rhonda, but she has a thing for me. Fuck knows why. The second time with her was different. I wanted her. Shit, though. It made things worse with her, and it kills me a dozen times over.

I’m question my feelings for her. I doubt it’s love, but how do I know? Thanks, Whitney Houston. My heart aches for her—Rhonda, not Whitney.

Fucking hell. This is not some lopsided love triangle. I need to set things right with Simone, but I can’t leave things where they are with Ronnie. I won’t be another crooked dickhead in her life. I’ll go to Durham to repair our friendship. I owe her that.

You can bet your phantom ass that I won’t be a cautionary tale or a footnote of Hadley’s. Ask Dart. I mean, Dash. Never mind. You didn’t know him. Apparently, neither did she.

Neverthefuckingless, I refuse to not settle things or to settle for anything. I’m confusing myself more, though it’s crystal as meth.

Maybe I’m all out of love or making love out of nothing at all. Goddamn Air Supply. Mom made sure those wailing pussies ruined our vacation to the Outer Banks that one year. I swear to Jackie Chan, they’re the key to my derangement. Or Mom is. I’ll get back to you.

Desperation breeds desperation. And that’s where I am, Eden. As Wilder pointed out, I need to step up and be more assertive in my personal life. Okay, then. How do I get her back? I don’t even have to say her name. You always know this shit. Neither one may want me in their life.

Both women mean a lot to me, but only one of them is the air that I breathe. I know that phrase is from a song Mom digs from the Bronze Age. Stab me now.

I’m begging you to help me figure this out. For once, don’t laugh at me. There’s no point in chasing my dream of becoming a lawyer. Because I get it now. Without her, the rest ain’t shit.

Greg

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