Page 18 of Unleashed

Chapter 3

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AS I PULL MAIL FROM Amos’s mailbox, my phone rings. I roll my eyes and tuck the mail beneath my arm as I yank the phone out of my pocket, almost dropping it on the ground. Seeing Ursula from The Little Mermaid on the screen, I cringe. The longer I waver, the louder Nine Inch Nails scream Ruiner.

“Fuck my life,” I mutter as one of Vaughn’s fossil neighbors creeps along the sidewalk, scowling at me. Sucking in a deep breath, I answer the phone, skipping the cordial with a sour, “What now?”

“Please don’t do that.”

“You’re the one calling me. I’m in the middle of something.”

“Oh. Then why did you answer the phone?”

“Is that an actual question? Because you’ll never stop calling, Mom.” I run a hand through my hair as I walk toward the apartment.

“I wanted to check on you. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Having five million dollars and a hand job would be nice.”

I hear her roll her eyes and purse her lips through the phone. “Could you not for once?”

“Then what’s the fun of having me around?”

Knowing I’m right, she sighs. “Have you returned to the office yet?”

“Yeah. I should’ve driven off a bridge like your cousin Stu.”

“His brakes went out, Greg.”

“That’ll happen when you drain the damn brake fluid and don’t replace it. The guy was a mechanic. What an airhead gearhead.”

“He had only started training.”

“He failed the class so hard, it sparked fireworks and parades.”

Mom sighs louder, and it tickles the hell out of me. “Have you seen Simone?”

My smile disintegrates as she passes the irritation to me. “I’d rather talk about if Stu was short for stupidity.”

Pressing on, Mom asks, “Is she in Richmond, or did she go home to Dover?”

“I don’t know. I’m not up her cooch anymore. But it felt good when I was there.” A snooty lady walking a prissy dog with bows in its fur gripes as she walks past. Thank fuck he took his dog with him.

“Dear God, Gregory. Have you seen her?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because maybe you can fix things with her. That’s why you moved back to Richmond, isn’t it?”

I shrug. “Maybe at first. But she’s collecting dicks like she’s casting a porno.”

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