Page 85 of Unhinged

But it would be horrendous to get knocked up now, still in college and in a fake marriage. I need a drink or a nap.

She clears her throat with a headshake. “Why did you elope, then?”

Greg shrugs. “Wanted to.”

“But your family… We would’ve loved to have been there.”

“I know, Mom, but it was at the bar before it opened. Milt did it yesterday. He’s ordained. It’s legal.” He nudges me with his elbow. “Sugar, show her the picture of the license.”

Dr. Abramson says, “No, that’s okay. Have you told your dad?”

He shifts and suddenly seems uneasy. “Not yet.”

“You got married on a Thursday afternoon?”

Greg adopts a prim voice. “Oh, my God! It’s like wearing white shoes after Labor Day!”

I can’t help but laugh as Dr. Abramson groans. “I just asked. Wait. You were home last night. Why weren’t you together?”

“Doing the horizontal tango?”

“Gregory… Yes, frankly. No honeymoon?”

“I worked late. If you must know, I went to Amos’s afterward to make it official with my bride before going home. We’ll honeymoon later.” Say what?

Dr. Abramson again groans. “Lord. You live apart. I assume you’ll be getting your own place?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t want to live with Mommy forever. But for now…”

She nods. “Simone can move in.”

I say, “Oh, no. I couldn’t do that. I’m fine with Amos.”

Greg jerks my hand. “Sugar, we’re married. We need to be together. Mom’s room is down the hall. She won’t hear us sealing the deal every night. Unless you want her to.” He grins and my face reddens. And I’m not one to embarrass easily.

Dr. Abramson hangs her head while I want to hang from a rafter. I glare at him. “I’m fine where I’m staying, dumpling.”

“Then, I’ll move in with you, dear.”

Horrified, I shake my head. “You and Amos would kill each other.”

“But I’d die a thousand deaths for you.” When I expect him to tack on another crazy endearment, he doesn’t, and his face is sincere.

We stare at each other until Dr. Abramson says, “Simone, if you’re more comfortable staying with Amos until you and Greg find an apartment, he’ll stay with me and honor your wishes, marriage or not.” She glares at him, and I have a new respect for my mother-in-law.

Fuck me to France.

I say, “Thank you. I really need to get back to work.” I try to remove my hand from his, but Greg clutches it harder.

His wounded act seems almost real. “Aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye, doll face?” His abrupt smirk makes me want to.

I glance at his mother. “Not right now, honeybun.”

“Then that would defeat the purpose, love of my life.” His brown eyes sparkle, enjoying teasing me.

I successfully yank back my hand and stand. “I’ll see you at work, Greg.”

“Bye, doodlebug.” He called me that at the diner. I didn’t think he’d remember.

---