Page 226 of Unhinged

Candi frowns and admits, “I never wanted that, but apparently, you earned it. Congrats.” She spins in her dollar-bin Keds knockoffs and stomps back into the bar.

“Assclown,” I mutter. But as I turn to go to the locker room, the music grows louder, and a voice clears behind me.

“Greg, may I speak to you?”

Stopping again, wishing I fell into a tar pit like Aunt Lois, I sneer, “You’re doing it now, Vaughn.”

“It won’t take long.”

I sigh and turn around as I unbutton my coat. “What? I’m sure you know what landed on my doorstep this morning.”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

“Today of all days. Thanks for nothing.”

I again turn to leave, but Amos pleads, “Greg, please. Five minutes.”

I roll my eyes and face his somber expression. “This better be worth my while.”

“It is. Firstly, it sounds counterintuitive, but I’d like to wish you a happy birthday.”

I toss my coat on the counter and cross my arms. “Fuck off.”

“Greg, I didn’t orchestrate her leaving.”

“But you led the band.”

“How? I’m not even certain why she left.”

“You and a fifty-mile radius know enough.”

“I didn’t know about… God, Greg. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Which shame? I have a goody bag of trauma. Take your pick.”

Amos glances at the door, and I note he loosened his green tie, which isn’t usual. He then looks back at me and lowers his voice. “The only one that I can address at the moment. Simone was pregnant?”

“No. False alarm. And it wouldn’t have been mine.”

He frowns. “I don’t know if I should believe you.”

“Whatever. Now, if you’re done—”

“I’m not.” He sighs and braces his hands out to his sides on the counter. “The reading of Gloria’s will transpires in April. I don’t have the official document in front of me, but I helped her with part of it a short while ago.”

“Uh, huh,” I say, looking out the window, thinking about my dumpster-fire life and how Amos is dancing around it. Disturbing shit.

“You really didn’t have intercourse with Hadley, did you?”

I swing my head to the door and then glare at him. “Jesus Christ, Amos. What about Gloria?”

“Please say you didn’t have sex with her, either.”

“I should knock out all of your damn teeth.”

“Hardly.” He raises a self-righteous eyebrow, inferring to him pulling me off Tanner. Asshole. “I digress. Gloria is leaving you a sum of money.”

“Come again?”