Page 204 of Unhinged

I snap, “I ought to maim you for that. He’s an American treasure.”

“What happened? Simone sent me a text earlier but won’t answer my calls! Amos called and said she left you!” I roll my glazed eyes at the floor. Shitty news sure travels fast. “Gregory, answer me!” I don’t need her to dissect my fucking feelings. I need her to tell me everything will be okay, and I don’t have to worry about burying a kid before it’s even born. I can’t fucking imagine what losing my child would do to me. My sister was hard enough and probably ten times easier. It sucked losing Birdy, too, but at least she’s healthy.

I grit my teeth as I careen toward the brink of despair. “I can’t do this with you.” I glare at the carpet that has been here since I was thirteen.

“Is it because you’re applying to law school? I know it’s a lot of work to pick one, study, take the LSAT, and get recommendation letters. I mean, if you plan for fall, this is the express route. I suppose it’d be tough on a new marriage, especially when she’s in school herself. But maybe—”

“This has nothing to do with it. I’m not going.”

“You can’t just give up on your marriage or law school!”

My jaw aches from clenching my teeth. I swear I’ll break at least one. “I did.”

She sighs. “Sweetheart, you’re my son. I want to help you. What did you argue about that led to the breakup?”

“Leave me alone.”

“No! Did she cheat on you?”

Along with my burning eyes, my throat tightens. “No.”

“Did you cheat?” When I ignore her, she says, “Oh, God. I was right, wasn’t I? She found out about you and Hadley.”

I finally glare at her. “Let’s get this straight. I already told you. I never fucked Hadley, so stop speculating I did.”

My mother looks surprised by that, and I want to stab myself. “Okay. I know you had feelings for her, though.”

Through my teeth, I say, “Don’t even. Any feelings I had for Hadley are bullshit compared to what I feel for Simone. It was all me. I killed my marriage. Nothing else matters to me, not even goddamn law school. Can you go now?” I stop talking because my throat squeezes.

When she doesn’t leave, I resume staring at the floor. My mother is circling for a feeding frenzy. “I won’t leave you here like this. If there’s anything that I can say to help you process—”

I whip my head up. “I’m not your fucking patient! I don’t need to process shit! I know what I did, and it’s horrific! Can’t you just be my mom?”

“I am your mom!”

“Then tell me I didn’t just lose my wife and…” My voice cracks, so I stop to take a breath.

“What?”

The damn breaks, and I moan as the pain floods me. My mom sits down next to me, putting her hand on my back as I shudder with sobs. “My kid. I knocked up Simone.”

“Sweetheart, that’s wonderful!” Mom joins me in crying, but for different reasons. “I know it’s not the right time for it, but that’s okay! Is this why you’re both upset?”

I sniff as tears drip onto the carpet. “No, it’s because I accused her of getting pregnant on purpose or sleeping around, and I demanded a paternity test. Father of the year already.”

“Are you serious? Why would you do that?” She can’t know about Shasta. She would throw me into a padded cell and shame me to her colleagues as a case study in insanity.

“Let’s just say I have trust issues, Mother.”

She sniffs as she rubs my shoulder. “I know, but I think Simone is a sweet young lady. You must’ve trusted her enough to marry her.”

“You don’t know her like I do. Sweet doesn’t come close to describing my Simone. She has sass for days and doesn’t take shit from me. She’s such a strong woman, and she loves me like no one else has even tried.” My voice and breaths shake. “She’s my every fucking thing. But it’s my fault she’s gone. I’m her swizzle stick while I called her a whore and a liar.”

“Gregory Richard Rodwell! That’s your wife and mother of your child!”

“Don’t you think I know that? She’s also my best friend and soulmate, but I threw that all out the fucking window! I can barely trust someone to give me an open bottle of beer! I flipped out and accused Simone of trapping me into having a kid when I told her I don’t want any!”

“Why not?” Mom asks cautiously, but she knows the answer all too well. “I will help you any way I can. I know your dad and Sherry will too.”

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