Page 107 of Unhinged

She seethes, “That’s for saying everyone fucks me. Who’s the cum dumpster now?”

I look over my shoulder but can’t see if there’s anything on my shirt. “Goddamn it, Simone!”

Simone marches past me, and I turn to see her grab the door handle while shooting me a smirk. “After you clean up our orgasms, change your shirt because I think you missed a spot, dumpling.” She blows me a kiss and giggles as she opens the door and leaves me gaping at her.

I mutter, “Bitch,” as I turn on the overhead light and go to the small sink with paper towels on the other side of the room. I hurry to clean up our biological evidence, divided between damn appalled and fucking impressed. I then pick up my wallet and phone, shoving them into my ass pockets, before yanking my dark blue Rolling Stones T-shirt over my head to see a wet, white splotch on the back.

I leave the storage room and toss my T-shirt onto a shelf in the locker room. Since it’s a slow night, the kitchen will be empty, so I go there without a shirt, knowing Amos has stupid spares from the name change in one of the bottom cabinets. But when I enter the kitchen, I stop in my tracks.

“Dad?”

Leaning against the counter like James Bond at a casino, he arches a dark blond eyebrow at me from behind his glasses. “Hey there. How’d you lose your shirt?”

“I spilled beer on it.”

“Isn’t that a nightly occurrence?”

“No. What are you doing here?” I continue to the cabinet because now this is awkward.

As I open and close cabinets with impatient thuds, he asks, “So, the storage room?”

“What about it?”

“I mean, after that dance number you did, I had some thoughts.”

Into an open cabinet, I mutter, “Shit.”

“I came in here to talk to you, but then you and your dance partner disappeared into the storage room. I waited for you but then heard a man and a woman moaning in there about ten minutes ago.”

I pull out a shirt and stand, not having a response except, “Okay.”

He shakes his head toward the counter and then peers up at me as I yank the shirt down. It’s a little big, but that’s better than too small. It only looks good on Simone. “Your mother told me about your elopement. Please say you’re not cheating on your new bride, Greg. We raised you better than that.” I wanted Hadley to cheat on Wilder with me, and now I’m married and going out on a date with another woman. I must’ve missed that lesson.

I laugh. “I’m not cheating.” Then the thought of cheating on Simone hits me hard. She’s right, though. We didn’t vow to be faithful, but I’ve hurt her enough. And the thought of her fucking other guys cuts me wide open.

Dad purses his lips and glances toward the storage room. “I know what you were doing with her.”

I shrug and again mumble, “Okay. I’m not a virgin.” But I’m pretty close to it, and I fuck like one.

“Well, I didn’t think you were. That’s all you’ll say about it?”

“What more do you want me to say?”

He looks around at no one in the kitchen before his exasperated look returns to me. “I don’t understand. You just had sex with one of the waitresses, but you’re not cheating?”

“I guess Mom didn’t tell you everything. And I told her I’d break the news to you.”

He sighs. “You mom said her name is Simone, and she’s an intern at her office. What else?”

“I met her in Richmond. We played softball together. She’s Hadley’s sister-in-law.”

He nods. “No ring?”

“No. It was last minute.” But I keep the beer cap in my pocket at all times.

“Why? No one even knew you were dating a woman exclusively.”

“Because…” I can’t fall for it again.

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