Page 222 of Unhinged

“Old-fashioned? Damn. I’m not that old. Just forget it. I—”

“I’d love to. I thought you’d never ask.”

“You were waiting for me to ask you?”

“I wasn’t waiting forever for your slow ass. I would’ve done it myself soon.”

“You just called it old-fashioned.”

“I’m an old-fashioned kind of woman.”

“You confuse the hell out of me. Why did I even bother?”

“Because you like me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself that hard. I’m just hungry, and I can’t eat a pizza by myself.”

“Okay. Just don’t go falling for me.”

“It’s dinner, not an elopement.”

“We’ll see.”

I sigh, fogging the window. These fake memories harass me daily.

“I, Gregory Richard Rodwell, take you, Simone Amanda Garrison, to be my wife and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, and love you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this day forward as long as we both shall live.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

I blink as I imagine her in a wedding dress and me in a tux. We never got that, though she promised to marry me, regardless if we were already married.

“Oh, fuck. What’s with all the pregnancy tests? Please tell me you’re looking for a golden ticket.”

“My period never showed up. Shit, Greg. Every single one is positive.”

“Uh, you’re knocked up?”

“My pill. I messed up with my herbal tea. I didn’t know they’re enemies. I’m sorry. Adoption. That’s an option. Not really.”

“Hold on. We’re having a baby?”

“Yes.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I made a horrendous mistake, but it takes two to disco.”

“Tango.”

“Boring.”

“Simone, I don’t know what to say.”

“At least tell me it’ll be okay because I’m about to lose it here.”

“Holy hell. One of our hot fucks created life, even with a rubber? I guess my swimmers work on commission.”

“I’m having your baby. That’s the truth. I’m not like—”

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