Page 194 of Unhinged

“Do you want kids someday? I mean, actually yours?”

“I’m not pregnant. And I won’t be soon.”

But two out of three test results scream I am.

I step back from the sink and stumble against the wall as I fall to the floor in a heap. This isn’t real or a possibility. I cover my mouth and sit on the bathroom floor, motionless, for who knows how long. Holy Lord. This is my fault. How could I be so stupid?

No. This can’t be right. I need to sort this shit out.

I scramble to my feet. Going for my phone, I realize I can’t call my best friend. I bow my head over the sink. Greg will kill me or leave me. I’d rather die than for him to break up with me. I can’t tell him this, but I have to. This directly affects him. I haven’t been with anyone else in over a year.

Still, there’s one negative result. I have to hold on to that hope.

I drop my phone three times as I scroll. I can’t tell Amos. I can’t tell my mom. I can’t tell Finn or Hadley. I can’t tell Sharla because she’ll flip out and sell her soul to be here. I’m not ready for that. I can’t tell Dr. Abramson. Oh, fuck.

I grab the three tests and go into my room. Seeing Frenchie and knowing she’ll have to potty, I shove the tests into my purse and take her downstairs to hurry her for a fast walk. I talk to her nonstop because if I don’t, the potential pressing issue in my stomach becomes an even bigger one in my head.

Putting Frenchie back into the apartment, I recheck my watch. I can’t meet Greg for lunch. I can’t lie to him, but I’ll never be ready to tell him the truth, either. Maybe he won’t notice when I gain weight. I’ll hide behind shit like they do on TV. I can do that until my water breaks.

Getting into my car, I grab my phone to text Greg, only to see I missed his call. Thank God. I couldn’t have ignored it willingly or talked to him. What the fuck am I going to do? I go to his first text.

“I can’t do lunch. Amos wants me to meet with him and go over law school shit. I figured you’ll be with me tonight so we can make up for it, buttercup. And we will.”

My trembling fingers nearly make it almost impossible to text. How will I even be able to spend the night with him? Even if this is a false positive, I can’t hide this from him, no matter if he’ll leave me.

On my third attempt, I finally send a response.

“That’s fine. Have fun with Amos, but not too much.”

“I hope you’re not implying something disgusting. I only do that with you.”

I laugh as unhappy tears fall down my face.

“I love you, Greg. Always. Always. Never forget that.”

“Are you alright? I love you too. I can tell Amos to take a hike and be with you for lunch. Hell. I’ll hang out the whole day in my mother’s office or the waiting room if you need me to. The storage room would be better to hang out, but I wouldn’t let you do anything, except for me.”

I sob over my phone and steering wheel. Thinking of Greg and his future, I shake my head as I type.

“No. Talk to Amos. You need this. I will never stand in your way. I promise. I have to go. I’ll see you at work.” I have to stay home. God. I can’t be around him.

“You’re never in my way, baby.” Baby. And I cry like one until I gain my bearings.

Since I know Candi is working, I go there.

Seeing her wiping down a table, I go up to her. “Hey, I need you. Right now.”

She jumps. “Simone! Holy fuck, girl! You scared the hell out of me!”

She hugs me, and on the verge of a breakdown, I unwind from her. “Storage room. I need to talk to you.”

“You’re still coming back, aren’t you?”

I grab her arm and tug her with me. Once we’re in there, I lock the door and turn to face her. With her hands on her hips, she looks me up and down. “Hell on wheels! You’re fucking pregnant!”

“What?”

“The look on your face is the same one I had at sixteen when I found out. Am I right?”

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