Page 181 of Unhinged

I laugh. “These two? Yeah. I’d rather eat live fire ants with jumper cables clamped to a car battery and my—”

“Greg!” Sherry shakes her head while my damn sisters laugh. That’s why I wouldn’t save their sorry asses. Shit. I guess I would if they were really in trouble, but it’d have to be a qualifying event worth the effort.

Ashley sings, “You’re in trouble.”

Simone rolls her eyes, and Tabby says, “And I bet Simone will punish you.”

Simone squeals, “What? Tabby!”

I shrug as I inhale my pie. “I’m cool with it.”

My dad returns to the dining room. “What did I miss?”

We’re all united, replying, “Nothing.”

That pretty much sums up tonight with my batshit-crazy family.

After we get our coats and I tear Simone away from Sherry and the girls, they invite her back for various events and shopping plans. I roll my eyes, but I’m grateful they’ve accepted Simone. It could have gone the other way like Hadley’s did. They cut her off because she married Simone’s brother. Wilder’s a douchebag, but he was okay with me marrying his sister, though for the last-name reason. I don’t know how he’d feel about any other reason.

As we check our messages in the truck, I see one from Hadley.

“How are you? I never heard from you after your date. I guess I should ask how’s married life?”

I think about how to respond or even if I should right now with Simone sitting two feet from me.

Simone says, “My mom is excited to see you again.” The last time I saw her mother, she tried to set me up with Simone. She must’ve seen something I was too fucked up to see.

“Uh, sure. Now?”

She laughs. “Not tonight, silly. Maybe this weekend.” Simone leans on the console between us. Distracted, I nod, and she asks, “Where are we staying tonight?”

“Wherever.”

“How about the closest and most decent one we see? I’ll pick up my car in the morning, so you won’t need to pick me up from work later.”

“Okay. My mother said you can be late.”

“She knows about this?”

“It was her idea.”

“Jesus saves. That’s nuts.”

“She thought we should have alone time.” I glance at her as I set down my phone and back out of the driveway. “Even she knows you fucking her son is good for his mental health.”

Simone’s smile gives me hope. “Nice.”

“Did my family scare you too much?”

Simone shakes her head with a laugh. “No way. They’re my family now. Right?”

I grab her hand. “Yep. And they like you way better than they like me.”

Simone is quiet as she holds my hand and strokes my fingers with her other hand. “They were excited about our future together.”

“Well, you know what they say about opinions and assholes. My family is full of both.”

“Your sisters… They heard us.”

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