Page 179 of Unhinged

“Barf. Find new friends.” Fucking Tabby is Eden 2.0, but the diet version.

“So that means you do it with him because you’re in love?”

“Yes.”

I grin, washing my hands. Leaving the bathroom, Simone smiles but looks uneasy. She goes to the bathroom next, and when she closes the door, I turn to them. “Listen up, fuckers. Quit asking about our sex life. Jesus God. You’re high schoolers. Shut up about it. It’s none of your beeswax.”

“Sex life? That’s disgusting.” Tabby wrinkles her nose, and I want to rip out that goddamn nose ring.

Ashley shakes her head. “Like a separate life? Weird.”

“Just learn about sex ed. in school and stop asking Simone personal questions like that.”

Tabby huffs, “It wasn’t that personal five minutes ago when you were moaning her name.”

Ashley smirks. “Simone and moan rhyme. So funny.”

“So what if we were having sex? We’re married. It’s what married couples do to show their love. It’s not up for discussion with you.”

Tabby frowns as she twirls her hair. “Then, I guess Josie loves everybody.” That was a good one, I’ll admit. “And love? That sounded like animals fighting at the zoo.”

Ashley grins, snapping her fingers. “Oh, yeah. The wild boars.”

“Shut the hell up.”

Pouting, Ashley complains, “Your mouth is nasty, as we heard from here.”

I nod. “She likes my mouth, so…”

Tabby says, “Dad said you’re going to be a lawyer. I don’t think they talk like that in a courtroom. Epic fail, Greg.”

“I think the only thing that failed was your mom’s or my dad’s birth control when you came along.”

Tabby gapes at me, disgusted, which makes me laugh. “You think you’re so funny.”

“Damn hilarious. I’m the funniest prick you know.”

Ashley shifts and glances at the bathroom door. “You can also use sex to give us a niece or nephew. Is that your plan?”

My giddiness evaporates. “What the hell, Ash? I just said we’re not talking about this. It wasn’t for that.”

Tabby says, “Maybe you need a refresher in sex ed. because all that thumping and yelling in there is how you make ‘em if you do it right.”

“You both drive me to the loony bin.” I shove my hand into my hair, thinking about everything that could go wrong with having kids, especially like these jackasses.

Tabby giggles. “Not like Simone does, apparently. I’d mock you, but I’m not saying any of that, but maybe she should change her name to Eff Simone.” I should think it’s refreshing and admirable how my teenage sisters don’t swear, but nothing is endearing with those fuckheads. I guess I haven’t influenced them enough over the years.

Tabby gasps for air as she laughs, and Ashley mutters, “It sounded like we were in church or one of those devil-worshipping places.” It’s like they’re picking up Eden’s baton, taunting me.

They each snort, and I drop my hand and point to the staircase. “Get out.”

Ashley rolls her eyes. “We live here.”

Tabby asks, “Do you love Simone more than Hadley?”

“For fuck’s sake! I didn’t love her! I love Simone! Stop asking stupid questions like that!” Was I that fucking obvious about Hadley around my damn family? Then, it should be twice as much with Simone. Hadley doesn’t compare.

Tabby shrugs. “Calm down, bro. What does she see in you, though?” I honestly don’t know.

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