Page 159 of Unhinged

Candi shrugs. “I mean, they’re worth mentioning. Simone could be one of those lingerie models you see in magazines. If I thought I had a chance with her, I would’ve tried to hit that. I’ll swing either way.”

“Good to know, and yes, my wife is damn hot, but she’s mine. So back off.”

“Take it easy, Rodwell. Simone is my friend. I love seeing her happy, even if it’s with you.”

“Thanks a lot, asshat.”

“Don’t mention it.” Candi pounds both hands on the counter. “So tell me all about it. Did you get down on your knee and propose?”

“No.”

“Are you shitting me? Please say you didn’t flip the ring to her like the beer cap.”

“Maybe.”

“I hope you at least begged her.”

“Oh, I did some begging. Do faster, harder, and don’t stop count?”

“Pig,” she snaps before grabbing her tray.

“Yeah. I’m really like that Tanner douche. And by the way, anyone sees him in here, don’t let him leave. I want to kick his ass.”

Candi giggles. “Sure.”

“What’s that for?”

“I doubt you’ve hit another man in your life.”

“There’s always a first for everything.”

“Are you and Simone moving in together?”

“Yeah, after we figure out where we want to be. For now, we’ll alternate between my mother’s and Amos’s.”

“Is she coming back to work here?”

I shrug. “Maybe, but after graduation, she’ll hopefully find a better job.”

“What about you? You’re not staying here forever, I hope. You’re a smart dude.”

“I’m working on it.”

“Make sure you don’t knock her up, then. Hell. That’s a showstopper. I got pregnant at sixteen. Simone is still so young. I don’t recommend her birthing your kids until she’s at least thirty-two.”

“That’s not happening.”

“That’s not something you decide all on your own.”

“Done.”

“I would think you discussed children before deciding to make this marriage permanent.”

“Um, sure,” I say, swinging a glass toward Nan, a retired loan officer who my dad dated in grade school, apparently a ladies’ man with the recess crowd. “She knows about my sister and how I don’t want to pass that shit on.”

“You can’t just shut her down, though, Greg. There is genetic testing.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll still pass it on, so I shut it down.”

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