I didn't know how I could come back from this, how could I get her to trust me again?
"Let me go." Finally, Faye opened up her eyes, hooded in pain and her body trembling with the same agony, "Just let me go, Dominic." She begged, but I only held her tighter.
Selfish as it was, I couldn't let her go. Not only because of what I still needed her to do for me but also because of how I felt for her.
"I can't, Faye. I fucking can't." I gritted through my teeth and bundled her up closer to my chest.
Without bothering to clean up any of the supplies I'd used in Farrah's small room, I rushed out of the apartment and down to the street level where I ordered Yuri to come back for me forgoing his search for Farrah.
I slid Faye into the backseat and got in next to her. I pulled her head against my lap, but she fought me, opting to curl up in a ball in the opposite direction.
She didn't want me touching her. I'd give her her space. I'd give her whatever she wanted if I could get her to look at me how she did before.
We hadn't been in the best of places, but it seemed as if we were making progress. She was trusting me to take care of her. Trusting me to do what I needed to do as a husband. Hell, she even willingly gave herself to me. It was by far the best sex I'd ever had, and now just the simple movement of me raising my hand was enough to have her scurrying back against the car door.
"She's messed up," Yuri said from the front seat, his eyes darting to Faye in the rearview mirror.
"No shit! Hurry the hell up!" I snarled at him, willing him to put his foot through the damn floor to move this piece of crap car faster. If I could fly back home, I would've.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and reached into my pocket to pull out my cell. With everything going on, there were a million and one things I needed to check on, but all I wanted to do at the moment was get Faye some help.
I placed a call to Dr. Nelson and told him to be ready for us the minute we got in. "Have everything ready. I want you to take her pain away instantly," I ordered.
"Dominic, I can't just drug her up. I need to-"
"I don't give a damn what you need to do. Just fix it!" I screamed into the phone before I slid the indicator off to hang up.
I squeezed the small electronic device hard enough; the screen broke. I needed to get rid of some of this tension, needed to find a way to be more useful. But there was nothing more that I could do. I'd already messed up too severely. I'd already hurt her when I promised that I never would.
I'm going to be living with this mistake for a long time, and I wasn't looking forward to it.
* * *
I paced back and forth in front of my room.
Dr. Nelson was already inside with Faye checking her over but it felt like it was taking way too long.
All I could think about was how brutal I'd been with her, how I tried to inflict as much pain as possible on her. Now I was regretting it big time. I'd promised her that I wouldn't hurt her and the minute I lost control I went back on the promise.
Finally, the door to my room opened and Dr. Nelson came out with a grim look on his face.
"What is it? Will she be okay?" I asked stopping him from moving any further into the hall.
"She'll live," he answered but refused to look at me.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? She'll live but what?"
"But nothing Dominic. I made sure she had the appropriate pain medication. She's sleeping right now." He answered again and clenched his jaw. It was clear that he was pissed at me but I wasn't paying him for his feelings. I was paying him to make shit right.
"You've got more to say to me. Just spit it the fuck out." I glared at him and finally his eyes jumped up to mine.
"She's traumatized, Dominic. There are bruises all over her body as if she were run through by a group of men and not just you. I don't know what you expected to get out of beating her like that but I'm sure nothing she could've done was worth that. You're losing it and there's going to be a point when I'm not going to be able to put some salve and bandages on her injuries. You're going to kill that woman. I don't want that shit on my conscience." He shook his head and waited for my response.
"It won't happen again."
"That's what you said last time." He gritted out and I had to stop myself from grabbing the side of his head and smashing it into the wall. I knew that I'd said the last time. I knew how much of an ass I'd been.
"You need me for anything else?" Dr. Nelson asked, shifting from side to side.