Page 19 of One Step Too Far

“I don’t know. Guess it means Josh has serious tastes in knives.”

There’s something in her voice, however, a slight hesitation, that leaves me unsettled. In my line of work, it’s not what people tell you but what they don’t that is often more important.

“Okay, back to Wilderness One-oh-one.” Luciana returns her attention to my pile of gear. “When it comes to basic survival, you want to remember the rule of threes: You can go three minutes without air, three hours without shelter, three days without water, and three weeks without food. Prioritize accordingly.”

I’m already skeptical. “I can last longer than three hours without shelter.”

“Assumes adverse conditions—say, a blizzard or torrential downpour or absurdly hot temps. Hyperthermia is a bigger killer than you might think.”

Now I get it. “The rule of threes is about prioritizing. My first job is to get air. Then shelter, then water. Don’t worry so much about food.”

“Exactly. This one-dollar lighter”—she holds up the Bic—“represents fire. Which will assist with shelter—keeping you warm at night—and boiling drinkable water. This magnificent if slightly terrifying survival knife can assist with building a shelter as well as creating kindling to start a fire. These two items alone can go a long way toward keeping you alive.”

“Hence I should carry them on my person.”

“See, you’re a natural. Now, the emergency whistle.”

“I have a whistle!” I’m genuinely excited. “I carry it around tough neighborhoods all the time.”

“Your idea of self-defense in an urban environment is a whistle? Are you trying to die?”

I do not answer that question.

“Whistles are too bulky for pants pockets. I recommend this instead.” Luciana throws a thickly corded bracelet in my direction. I catch it in midair, finger the camo-colored weave.

“I’ve seen these. Some kind of nylon rope, braided into fashion gear.” I unclip the plastic buckle and discover a stainless steel tongue of surprising strength.

“Notice the slightly serrated edge?” Luciana points at the metal tongue. “That can serve as a small blade. Now blow in the other half of the buckle.”

I give her a look but obediently purse my lips for a short puff. A faint whistle emerges from the hollow plastic. I try again, with more force, and am rewarded by a sharper sound. “It’s a whistle!”

“A whistle you can wear on your wrist that also provides a small razor and utility ropes.” Luciana beams proudly.

I don’t blame her. I’m slightly in love with the bracelet. Reminds me of my five-dollar utility hair clips that include serrated edges on one side and tool options in the middle. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they’ll save me in the wild, but they have come in handy for some basic breaking and entering.

“So butane lighter in one pocket. Knife at your waist. Paracord bracelet on your wrist,” Luciana summarizes. “Final item, that small pencil flashlight, which you can tuck into one of the pant-leg pockets. You don’t want to be wandering around the woods in the dark, and not just because you’ll most likely kill yourself, but because other creatures will regard you as food and do the honors for you.”

“Do you really think a grizzly bear cares about a bobbing flashlight?”

“I’m hoping to never find out.”

“Do you carry a gun?” I ask curiously.

“No. I don’t like them and I’m not sure I could bring myself to shoot another life form, even a charging bear.”

“What if the bear went after Daisy?”

“Then I’d kill the grizzly with my bare hands and the gun would be redundant.”

I don’t doubt her for a second.

“Nemeth has a rifle,” she adds now. “It’s part of his responsibility as the guide. I have bear repellent in my kit. The size of our party will be our most useful weapon, however. Wildlife is shy. They don’t want to take on eight people and a dog. Just don’t wander too far from the campfire at night. Pick the closest bush, squat, pee, and get back.”

“There’s no toilet paper in my pack.”

Luciana rolls her eyes. “Seriously, woman, by the end of this week, you’re not going to recognize yourself.”

I pick up one of the few items scattered on the carpet that she hasn’t mentioned yet. “Why does a guy have a maxi pad in his wilderness kit?”